A few years ago, I had the fake ones removed.
While I had loved the fuller, feminine look they provided, they were just a bother and getting in the way.
I'm talking, of course, about my eyelash extensions.
I was fed up with the upkeep, cost and pain. Boring bi-weekly appointments for fills lasted an hour and cost about $50, this after dropping $200 for the initial set. And if that wasn't excruciating enough, droopy, wonky lashes -- caused by the slightest bit of moisture or wind -- would have to be -- yow!-- yanked.
My purse and my peepers were pleased to be done with the process. Initially I was sick over the sorry, skimpy state of my damaged eyelashes. If I thought they were puny before extensions, I had another think coming. But eventually, with enough time, mascara and multi-level marketing growth serum, my natural set made a full recovery, even if they're not quite full, thick or long enough for my liking.
I've continued to miss the flutter that only fakery provides.
Reading a recent Washington Post piece by fashion critic Robin Givhan (headline: "Of course those eyelashes are fake. And they're spectacular") only intensified my longing. She wrote, "What was once makeup reserved for a special occasion has become everyday glamour. False eyelashes are everywhere."
One suggestion she mentioned: "do what the vast majority of women -- and a lot of makeup artists -- do, and head to the nearest drugstore for a pair of Ardell lashes for as little as $3.99."
What did I have to lose besides a few dollars? I'd give the glue-on method a go!
After researching online descriptions and ratings, I ordered a multipack of not-too-long, natural-ish Ardell Demi Wispies and a tube of clear-drying Duo Lash Adhesive. I couldn't wait to receive them.
It would be a few weeks later before I'd actually have the energy and nerve to attempt them. With an early radio job rise time of 3:30 a.m. and 12-hour workday ahead, I couldn't fuss with them on weekdays. And I can barely make myself wear the most minimal makeup on weekends. I finally experimented on a Saturday morning when I was meeting a group for a late brunch. If the look was all wrong, girlfriends would tell me honestly and lovingly. That is, after all, their job.
Speaking of job, the initial implementation was a chore. I used entire gobs of glue (which dries white and clumpy, not clear, when overused) and I didn't let it dry enough and get appropriately tacky before applying. The hard-to-handle lashes stuck more to my fingers and pupils instead of my lids. My eyes watered and I got the placement all wrong. But, with the help of tweezers, an entire box of tissues and 382 Q-tips, I finally got it mostly right. The discount lashes looked downright decent.
An outdoor brunch -- complete with a strong breeze -- would be the test.
They got the stamp of approval. And, more importantly, they stayed on. I've gotten better and quicker with practice. I've worn them each day since, always keeping an extra tube of Duo and cotton swabs in my bag for occasional emergency touch-ups.
Still, some days go more smoothly than others.
Last week while waiting for the glue to firm up before applying, I got busy doing something else. I waited too long, and the glue had dried. Well, shoot. I had to do it all over again.
When I went to add glue, I couldn't find the left lash. Well, shoot. I'd have to break a set and put adhesive on another left lash and wait. Well, shoot. I picked a right lash by accident. Well, shoot. I'd have to find an actual left lash, glue it and wait. Well, shoot. Where did the first right lash go?
I looked everywhere but couldn't find those other stray lashes.
But, glancing in the mirror, I did find -- ACK! -- big, black leggy spiders in my hair! EWWWW! OH MY GOSH! GROSS! GET THEM OUT! THEY'RE STUCK! THEY'RE NOT MOVING! HELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEE!
I jumped up, flailing my arms about and furiously lashing out at the ends of my hair only to find ... oh, my lashes.
In the blink of an eye, email:
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com) from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 05/16/2017