How little Hitlers of elf'n'safety succeeded where the Fuhrer failed: RICHARD LITTLEJOHN on how Big Ben has fallen victim to one of the great tyrannies of our age

Big Ben is the most striking symbol of Britain, the mighty bell which has resonated from the Mother of Parliaments during the reigns of six monarchs, sounding the chimes of freedom not just at home but around the world.

Throughout the darkest days of World War II, the familiar peal broadcast on the BBC’s Overseas Service gave comfort to the resistance movements across Europe and reminded our troops overseas of the democracy for which they were fighting.

Like the ravens in the Tower of London, and the Royal Standard flying over Buckingham Palace, Big Ben has been a steadfast monument to our liberty and independence.

It has been used by news bulletins to introduce solemn announcements on matters of state, from the death of kings to the declaration of war and the proclamation of victory.

Bong!

Big Ben is to fall silent not through revolution or invasion but due to 'elf'n'safety', writes Richard Littlejohn

Big Ben is to fall silent not through revolution or invasion but due to 'elf'n'safety', writes Richard Littlejohn

And now the great bell is to fall silent. Not through bloody revolution, or foreign invasion, but victim of one of the greatest tyrannies of our age: elf’n’safety.

From Monday, the bell will be mothballed while renovation work takes place on the structure which houses it — renamed the Elizabeth Tower to commemorate the Diamond Jubilee of our beloved Queen.

We all accept that a temporary hiatus may be necessary to maintain a vital part of the fabric of our nation. It has happened before for a short while, most recently in 2007.

But this time, Big Ben is scheduled to remain silent for four years. Apart from Remembrance Sunday and New Year’s Eve, the chimes will not be heard again until 2021.

It will be the longest period in which the bell has not rung since it was installed on May 31, 1859.

The Blitz could not silence Big Ben, but the Little Hitlers of elf’n’safety have succeeded where the Fuhrer failed.

Their entirely predictable excuse is that the precaution is necessary to protect the hearing of building workers.

Fair enough, but surely issuing noise-cancelling headsets would be sufficient. Bose will sell you a top-of-the-range number for a couple of hundred quid.

After all, such devices are deemed appropriate for staff working in equally noisy conditions which produce potentially deafening levels of decibels, such as on airport runways and operating pneumatic drills.

I can’t believe that the din in the Elizabeth Tower during renovation will be much worse than in the average foundry, or any other construction site for that matter.

So why is it deemed essential to shut down the bell for four whole years?

Come to that, why the hell is it going to take four years to carry out the repairs? It didn’t take that long to build the tower in the first place.

The Blitz could not silence Big Ben, but the Little Hitlers of elf’n’safety have succeeded where the Fuhrer failed

The Blitz could not silence Big Ben, but the Little Hitlers of elf’n’safety have succeeded where the Fuhrer failed

Still, it’s what we have come to expect. Endless delays and interminable public works are par for the course these days. 

While other countries rebuild damaged infrastructure in a matter of weeks, repairing anything in modern Britain seems to take an eternity.

After the most recent Japanese earthquake, roads which had subsided and collapsed were reopened again within days. 

Yet at the same time, some minor repairs to a bridge on London’s North Circular Road dragged on for more than two years.

When it comes to public projects, time and money appear to be no object. Nothing ever comes in on schedule or under budget. 

The fact that these works regularly cause the maximum possible inconvenience to the public who are paying for it through their taxes is of no consequence.

Even before a hole is dug, the area is closed for weeks in advance while concrete safety barriers, CCTV cameras and a whole panoply of hazard warning signs are installed, all to ‘protect’ employees who will spend the next few months drinking tea and leaning on their shovels.

No one wants a return to the days when workers were routinely killed undertaking hazardous construction work. 

I cut my teeth as an industrial correspondent and I’m well aware that safety standards on building sites in the Seventies and Eighties left much to be desired.

But that’s no excuse for the overkill which has come since, especially after successive governments started signing us up to arbitrary safety directives generated by the EU in Brussels.

Often these have been drawn up with the most noble of motives, but once they arrive in Britain they are seized upon and amplified by the power-crazed, empire-building descendants of Dad’s Army’s officious Warden Hodges, who are determined to ban even the most innocuous of pursuits.

You can’t imagine the Vatican, Sacre Coeur or the Eiffel Tower being shut down for four years. Pictured is the Elizabeth Tower at Parliament in London

You can’t imagine the Vatican, Sacre Coeur or the Eiffel Tower being shut down for four years. Pictured is the Elizabeth Tower at Parliament in London

Perfectly sensible measures to protect life and limb are to be welcomed. But that’s no excuse for the petty prohibitions and punishments inflicted upon us with such relish by the burgeoning health and safety behemoth.

As the columnist who first put the conjoined phrase ‘elf’n’safety’ into the language, I’ve made a good living documenting this madness over the past quarter of a century.

It’s led to everything from the proscription of medium-rare hamburgers and wooden chopping boards to banning the sale of knitting needles to elderly matrons who can’t prove they are over 21.

No aspect of human activity is safe from interference.

It has spawned a ridiculous hi-viz culture, in which it is deemed unsafe for anyone to leave home without a luminous vest. 

There’s no more daft sight on TV than a reporter doing a piece to camera standing in an empty field, dressed like Bob The Builder in hi-viz jacket and hard hat.

They’ve even banned window cleaners from using ladders, just in case they fall off.

So I wasn’t surprised to read that one of the reasons given for not providing ear protectors to those working in the Elizabeth Tower was that they are ‘unsuitable for people working at heights’.

In many ways, the silencing of Big Ben is a metaphor for the lunacy of modern Britain’s risk-averse culture, not just the legions of elf’n’safety, but the unreasonable demands of the insurance companies — seeking any loophole to prevent paying out on policies. 

It has also created a goldmine for those no-win, no-fee, Blame Direct spiv law firms who advertise on daytime TV.

Watching this year’s blockbuster movie, Dunkirk, I couldn’t help speculating that we wouldn’t be able to pull off such a daring evacuation these days.

Never mind the fact that we’ve sacrificed our fishing fleet on the altar of European unity. None of the small boats would have been allowed to set sail.

And even if they had, elf’n’safety would not have permitted that number of people to board a single vessel.

The ‘mole’ which led out to sea would never have been built — too dangerous — and the Kenneth Branagh character would have been forced to wear a hi-viz jacket, making him an easier target for any passing Messerschmitt.

Other countries supposedly bound by European safety directives don’t appear to take it to such extremes. 

You can’t imagine the Vatican, Sacre Coeur or the Eiffel Tower being shut down for four years on the orders of elf’n’safety.

The refurbishment of the tower was approved by a Commons committee chaired by John Bercow, who is supposed to uphold the dignity and traditions of our democracy

The refurbishment of the tower was approved by a Commons committee chaired by John Bercow, who is supposed to uphold the dignity and traditions of our democracy

Yet this was approved by a Commons committee chaired by John Bercow, the pipsqueak Speaker, who is supposed to uphold the dignity and traditions of our democracy but so often seems to embody the petty and ridiculous face of Parliament.

There’s still a chance that some kind of compromise can be reached. MPs have woken up to the absurdity of Big Ben being silenced for four years, describing it variously as ‘mad’ and ‘bonkers’, and a review has been ordered.

But if they were doing their job properly, it would never have happened in the first place. They only take notice when something directly affects them.

Shamefully, they have sat back for years and nodded thousands of daft elf’n’safety directives into British law, without any proper scrutiny whatsoever.

Let’s hope common sense prevails and Big Ben is able to sound, if not every hour, then at least a couple of times a day. 

Still, common sense is not something we associate with elf’n’safety or most members of Parliament.

This craven aversion to risk even seems to have infected those who voted to stay in the EU, scared rigid that Britain would be unable to prosper as a free-booting, independent nation without the bureaucrats of Brussels to hold our hand and tell us what to do.

I’m only surprised that some die-hard Remainer hasn’t come forward to blame the silencing of Big Ben on Brexit.

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