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Filipino women sharing and writing their own history

Jen Amos, founder and host of The Filipino American Woman Project.
(John McCutchen / The San Diego Union-Tribune)
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It occurred to Jen Amos that despite her involvement in community organizations and events that celebrated her Filipino and American identities, she needed something more.

“As a Filipino American woman, I’ve been told to be or do many things: Be American. Be Filipino. Know your history. Speak Filipino. Know your family roots. Don’t ask questions. Visit the Philippines more often. Lighten my skin. Lose weight. Get a stable job. …On and on and on. All of these kind, good intentioned suggestions and not once was I told, ‘Just be who you are. You are enough,’” she says. “With The Filipino American Woman Project, we celebrate the Filipino American women as they already are. Our underlying message is: You are enough, and we want to celebrate you by sharing your story.”

She started The Filipino American Woman Project last year through her online marketing agency, Social Turtles, and uses Facebook Live to broadcast the show with interviews featuring other women who identify as Filipino and American. After looking online to learn more about the history of women like her, who came before her, and coming up mostly empty, she decided to have women speak for themselves on what it means to be part of this community.

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Amos, 29, lives in downtown San Diego with her fiancé and their rescue dog, and is the founder and host of the project, and founder and executive director of her online marketing agency. She took some time to talk about her inspiration for the project, what she hopes people inside and outside of her community can learn from the stories women are sharing, and what it’s taught her about herself.

Q: Tell us about The Filipino American Woman Project.

A: It was inspired by my personal experiences as an American woman of Filipino descent, and it stemmed from a deep desire to collect stories of those that identify the same way, to have these stories for generations to come.

Q: What led to the creation of a project to tell the stories of Filipino American women?

A: Since middle school, I have battled against being a self-loathing Filipino American woman. Within my own community, I grew up with traumatic experiences of my father’s sudden disappearance, bullying, emotional and financial abuse, and child molestation. In college, I decided to explore beyond my childhood experiences by getting involved with San Diego State University’s Filipino organization. Throughout my post-college years and young adult experiences, I would occasionally get involved with other Filipino-related community events and organizations. Yet, despite my experiences, I still felt like something was missing. It was then I realized that what I needed wasn’t external, but internal. Thus, The Filipino American Woman Project was born.

From my personal experience and observations — and I emphasize “personal” experience because I do not want my story to be a blanket description for my whole community — Filipino American women (and Filipino women for that matter) are very humble about their work ethic, resilience, history and service to others. So much so, that we’ll do more than we can handle because we don’t always know how to communicate when enough is enough. I personally grew up discouraged to speak up or communicate my feelings, especially when I was overwhelmed. I was told that I was weak, complaining or challenging authority. With this project … rather than having a book, a scholar, an organization, a loved one or anyone else speak on our behalf, we’re putting Filipino American women themselves front and center, to share what being a Filipino American woman means to them.

Q: Why was this something you wanted to do?

A: I have found that storytelling is the most powerful and effective way of connecting with others. In understanding our similarities and differences, we may hopefully find a common ground of community, support and collaboration. There are numerous times where I have felt more connected with someone because I was moved by their story or they were moved by mine. Now that we’ve created a platform for Filipino American women to do the same, it’s my hope that at least one more person can feel connected, whether it’s the influence of a woman sharing her story or the influence of women listening to her. Stories connect. And when we’re connected, I believe that we’re empowered to embrace the beauty that’s within ourselves and with each other.

As this passion project grows, I, too, am learning to embrace my own story in a broader perspective; to realize that my own sad stories don’t define me. I am the author of my life, and I can write a more positive future for myself that doesn’t have to include abandonment or abuse. If I can do the same for even one person or facilitate a space for other women to affect one more person in a positive way, then I am glad.

What I love about downtown San Diego...

My little family and I love spending a lot of time together. So we love how Downtown San Diego is a dog-friendly neighborhood.

Q: How does the project function?

A: I first started promoting it through Facebook groups and our responses were almost immediate. What I find most beautiful about these insights is that they are all organic. Filipino American women have approached me and encouraged their friends to share their stories, too. When friends see their friends being interviewed live, they are inspired to do the same. Depending on their location or preference, we interview them in person or online, and all of the stories are available on our Facebook page (https://facebook.com/thefilipinoamericanwoman/videos/).

Q: Why is it important to you to tell stories about Filipino American women, specifically?

A: It’s the Filipino American women stories that I’m most curious about because I know so little about them. I never knew my grandmother’s stories from either my mother or father’s side. I am still learning about my mother’s story. I have learned about Filipino and Filipino American culture as a whole, while I was in college. But what about the Filipino American woman? In general, I have no convenient access to stories of women like me. My fiance, who’s Caucasian, knows American history very well. One, because it’s taught in our American school system. Two, it was essential for his career in the military. Three, he just loves history! He has the luxury of being able to research his American history through the Internet, libraries, the plethora of American-based documentaries, in popular culture, and so many other places with ease. For a Filipino American woman such as myself, learning about my history is not as easily accessible.

Q: What do you hope this project does for other Filipino American women?

A: I hope that this project will influence them to celebrate themselves and each other for the amazing women that they are today. For any Filipino American woman that feels misrepresented, I hope that this influences her to share her story. As long as a women living in America is of Filipino descent, our project has a platform for her to share her story. I also hope that the strength and skills we find in storytelling will translate into our professional lives and whatever endeavors we choose to pursue.

Q: How do you think seeing these stories about each other will provide strength?

A: I believe that hearing and engaging with stories on a consistent basis will make us stronger communicators, and having better communication skills is an opportunity to make healthier connections. On a more personal level, I feel like these stories provide me with the strength to honor my parents’ story of immigration, how they left behind all that they knew in the Philippines to give us more opportunities and options to succeed in America. Now, I admit that the majority of my life being a daughter to immigrant parents wasn’t easy, but today I see that it was all worth it. More than ever, I honor my parents’ sacrifices, resilience, and courage. I’m especially learning to honor my mother more, who became a widow with three children under 11 years old to care for.

Q: What’s been challenging about your work with The Filipino American Woman Project?

A: Mainly taking care of myself as a dark-skinned, female minority who’s had a long history of being a self-loathing Filipino American woman. It sounds self-centered, but for my close friends and loved ones who know me, I have a strong tendency to put myself last. This passion project is a personal declaration to care for myself first, so in turn, I can better serve others. Secondly, I have to remind myself on a daily basis to practice interdependence, rather than falling into the extreme ends individualism or collectivism. This project is meant to serve as a community for others, but I can’t forget that it should also serve me.

Q: What’s been rewarding about that work?

A: Knowing that I’ll never not be a Filipino American woman. It’s exciting to know that I have a lifetime to work on this potentially, ever-evolving project and grow with the community that may come because of it. I also find that the feedback of Filipino American women is incredibly rewarding. In the few short months we started this project, I have had countless women thank me for doing this. It touches my heart and motivates me every day.

Q: What has it taught you about yourself?

A: I’m beautiful just the way that I am. I am always enough.

Q: What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

A: My favorite Bible verse, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (about how “There is a time for everything...”). This verse reminds me that I have many versions, evolutions, and seasons of myself to look forward to throughout my lifetime. It’s exciting. It reassures me that I’m always at the right place at the right time because God has a plan for everything in my life.

Q: What is one thing people would be surprised to find out about you?

A: That I was born in Yokosuka, Japan, but I am not Japanese, nor do I speak Japanese. I was born on American soil on a U.S. Navy base. Therefore, I am an American.

Q: Describe your ideal San Diego weekend.

A: A nice day at home or a nice day out with my fiance and our dog is enough for me. I enjoy walking around downtown or Balboa Park with my little family. Many times, I enjoy taking our dog to a nice stroll around Fiesta Island.

Email: lisa.deaderick@sduniontribune.com

Twitter: @lisadeaderick

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