Theresa May faced Jeremy Corbyn at PMQs today wearing a chunky bracelet all the colours of a bowl of mixed fruit.

This was appropriate. It was to be a clash between Agent Cob and Agent Orange.

Cob was allegedly the codename the Labour leader was given by the Czech secret service.

Claims that Mr Corbyn spied on their behalf are ridiculous, but that wasn't going to stop the PM making political capital out of them .

May: orange

I don't know how many pre-scripted gags Mrs May brought with her in her folder but Mr Corbyn was skillful enough to stop her deploying them.

He asked questions about Brexit, which while not very interesting headed off at the pass any jokes about Eastern Europeans.

Mr Corbyn told the PM her Government was not on the road to Brexit but the road to nowhere.

Brexit countdown

Brexit in

Mrs May waffled on about a security partnership with the EU. You could see she was itching to throw an espionage joke in there somehow but thought better of it.

Mr Corbyn was on his fifth and last question before Mrs May could crowbar in a gag and it was both forced and not very good.

Corbyn: butt of bad joke

She told him: "Normally he stands up every week and asks me to sign a blank cheque. I know he likes Czechs, but honestly..."

Tories fell about dutifully laughing. Even International Development Secretary Penny Mordaunt, dressed in her trademark sombre outfit which makes her look like she's auditioning for Call the Midwife, managed a smile.

The rest of us groaned. Oh, oh, heavens.

So bad was this gag that if Agent Orange had turned the colour of a ripe tomato in her embarrassment, it was no less than she deserved.