We’ve suggested that Chicago should have fewer aldermen. Today we suggest who one of them should be. As we wait for the 50-member council to shrink, Chance the Snapper should be appointed Chicago’s 51st alderman, an honorary position with no residency requirement.
As Chicago’s most famous alligator emerged from a plastic storage bin in his bow tie Tuesday, his mouth taped shut, the prospective Aldergator looked positively City Hall-ready.
Unlike Tuesday’s tale of a Cook County commissioner and a political ally, he did not ask his assembled public, “Do you know who I am?” He was secure in the knowledge that everyone did, whether by his given name or aliases such as Richard J. Scaly.
Chance, who glided free in the Humboldt Park Lagoon for a week before being captured, has captivated the Chicago that now has taken him captive. There were clever names (hat tip to Block Club Chicago), the natural beauty of the park and lagoon, and friendly, enthusiastic Chicagoans all over the news. The alligator ambassador was of national interest. Wildlife met wit and commerce as the enterprising sold gator tote bags and concocted gator drink specials.
A pro-parks, pro-business Aldergator who excels at promoting Chicago and attracting visitors to often overlooked neighborhoods? He has our endorsement.
Chance could be an extremely effective ribbon-cutter (Snap!) and would of course serve on a council committee. Public Safety? No. Zoning? Probably not. Maybe Special Events, Cultural Affairs and Recreation, where the Aldergator could spearhead the Humboldt Park Alligator Fest — which should definitely exist and should definitely not serve alligator sausage. He’d be a natural leader of efforts to make Chicago more green. We’re eager to hear his thoughts on rat control.
Like any good politician, the Aldergator has an eye on each side of his head and jaws designed to grip prey. Hooks and barbs don’t penetrate his skin. And he’s adept at evading the law, should circumstances require.
How do you catch an alligator on the lam? “Just barely,” quipped Frank Robb, the gator wrangler from Florida who expertly reeled him in. “If they don’t give you a little bit, then you’re not ever going to catch one.”
The people of Chicago understand.
Wherever Chance glides out his days in custody — we’re pleased that Animal Care and Control promises he’ll go where he’ll best thrive, be that in Chicago or not — his platform of urban unity and swamp-inspired cocktails will always be welcome here.
Editorials reflect the opinion of the Editorial Board, as determined by the members of the board, the editorial page editor and the publisher.
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