The Lion King review: There's nothing live action about it

Let’s take our first detour early in this review. Can we please stop calling this thing the “live action Lion King”? There is nothing live action about it. No one trained any lions to talk. No meerkats went to singing lessons.

There were no live animals anywhere. It was all done on computers. How there was even a director is beyond me.

Anyway, the good news is that the new Lion King is not exactly a dead-on remake. The bad news is that there isn’t enough unique about it to make you think it is anything more than a knock off of The Lion King we fell in love with during childhood.

Let’s skip the recap. Either you have seen The Lion King or you haven’t, and based on how common of a reference point it is for people, I am going to guess most of you have seen it. I will also use this time to tell you that this review is going to contain spoilers. I promise not to spoil anything new that happens, but if it happened in the 1994 animated classic, then it is fair game to talk about here.

In some places the filmmakers did go shot-for-shot, and it pays off. For instance, the opening ceremony set to “Circle of Life” is exactly the same as the one you remember from 1994, and the realistic looking animals make it even more impressive. They even include baby Simba’s sneeze, so get ready to squee!

Side note: Do you know what Simba means? It means lion. Mufasa and Sirabi clearly aren’t that attached to this kid and maybe even expect Scar will probably kill him.

Where those shot-for-shot recreations fall flat is in the major moments that impacted us as kids. Yes, I am talking about Mufasa’s death. You have the hand-drawn cartoon in your head. When you were younger, it broke your heart. Maybe it even scared you a little. “Dad, get up!" is a line meant to be said by Jonathan Taylor Thomas and no one else!

In the new version of the film, a photo-realistic lion screaming in terror as he falls off a cliff just kind of looks goofy. The recreation of the moment Simba finds his dad’s body also has less impact because now you know the line word for word and you aren’t overcome with the sadness you were the first time.

I don’t know how to suggest Jon Favreau update the death of Mufasa, but seeing it recreated in this way blunted the impact the moment had.

The voices are completely recast in this movie with the exception of James Earl Jones. That seems right, right? Who else but James Earl Jones could you accept as Mufasa? Maybe Idris Elba? But then you get a proper, British Mufasa. We want that character to be a loud and proud American.

Vocally, the kudos go to Beyonce as Nala (because of course), Keegan-Michael Key and Eric André as our comic relief hyenas, and Jon Oliver as Zazu. That is such perfect casting that whoever thought of it should just retire right now.

Timon and Pumba are the absolute standouts though. First, it’s because they are perfectly cast (Parks and Rez’s Billy Eichner and Seth Rogan respectively) and also because they were the standouts of 1994’s The Lion King. They are just fun characters, and Eichner plays Timon as something between Rupaul’s Drag Race contestant and Buster Bluth. This may be the case of an actor landing the role he was put on Earth to play. He is perfect the second Timon opens his mouth.

The Lion King’s script was always loosely based on Hamlet, but I think you will pick up another clear influence in this version that was only subtle in 1994. There are a couple of scenes in the new Lion King that really hammer you over the head with Christian undertones. It’s not a good or bad thing. It is merely an unexpected choice and something that differentiates this Lion King from the original.

So do you want to pay to see this? I mean, that really depends on how much of your money you would like to hand over to the ghost of Uncle Walt. I grew up on those Disney animated movies, so while I enjoy the dopamine rush of nostalgia, I am also struck by how clear it is that this animation studio is stuck in neutral.