This week’s lesson: watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians is essential.

If any of the decision-makers at ITV had done so, they wouldn’t have just wasted tonnes of money.

Instead, they’ve blown a rumoured £500,000 – the highest fee an I’m A Celebrity contestant has ever been paid – on literally

the only Kardashian I wouldn’t tune in for.

If anyone at ITV had watched KUWTK, or followed them at all, ever, even for one second, they would know the truth.

Caitlyn Jenner is extremely dull. She always has been.

There are two reasons I’m A Celeb would have wanted Caitlyn – to reveal juicy gossip about her family, and to squeal at insects and throw Hollywood diva fits if she so much as broke a nail.

If they’d done any research at all, they would have immediately realised neither will happen.

Caitlyn wrote a tell-all book in 2017, The Secrets Of My Life, in which she, funnily enough, told all about the secrets in her life. And her family’s lives.

Weirdly, they were not that thrilled about it, and her kids also had a slight issue with Caitlyn slagging off Kris Jenner in it, what with her being their mum and all.

There’s no way Caitlyn’s going to risk doing any more damage there. 

Caitlyn’s not going to be a scaredy-cat either. When she was squashed into a jeep with the curdled cream of Britain’s Z list, they all lost it when they saw the spiders in the vehicle with them.

Caitlyn didn’t bat an eyelid – and not just because she probably can’t after that much plastic surgery. Everyone else jumped out, terrified, Caitlyn stayed put.

She will be the same in every trial. Nothing will faze or shake her, she will be emotionless and calm.

Nothing will faze Caitlyn (
Image:
ITV)

The only thing you can rely on Caitlyn to do is react in the least interesting way possible.

Always, no matter what. When everyone else is screaming, Caitlyn will just sit there.

When the arguments start, Caitlyn will just sit there. When they’re moaning that they starving, Caitlyn will just sit there.

She’s been paid handsomely to sit in the background for years now, she’s an expert in the (background of) the field. A professional wallflower, laughing all the way to the bank. Tsk.

Let’s just hope some good comes of this massive waste of time and money. The sooner Keeping Up With The Kardashians is added to the national  curriculum, the better.