Christmas movies fall into three categories: there are chestnuts such as the Hollywood classics “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Miracle on 34th Street,” animated box office hits (“The Polar Express”) and the contemporary cheesy TV staples such as Jenny McCarthy’s “Santa Baby.” As the network executives endeavor to feed the holiday movie machine, the plots have taken an outlandish turn that have nothing to do with celebrating Christmas. Here are this year’s most preposterous offerings.
“The Knight before Christmas”
Nov. 21, Netflix
Starring Vanessa Hudgens (“High School Musical”) and Josh Whitehouse (“Poldark”), this might be the most preposterous movie of the season. Whitehouse plays a medieval knight who travels to the present day, where he falls in love with a downtrodden high school teacher (Hudgens). Think “Enchanted” meets “Outlander.” Do they even buy a Christmas tree together? The connection to the holiday seems tenuous at best.
“Ghosting: The Spirit of Christmas”
Dec. 4, Freeform
The practice of ghosting — in which one dater ignores another as a form of rejection — is the premise of this movie, which hails from the brain trust of “Friends” alum Lisa Kudrow. Aisha Dee (“The Bold Type”) plays Jess, a young woman who dies in a car accident after going on a great date. Her spirit then sticks around. Why? Even more puzzling, the film’s plot of Jess’ quest to achieve a satisfying afterlife. When do we sing Christmas carols?
“A Date By Christmas Eve”
Dec. 22, Lifetime
Brand strategist Chelsea (Vanessa Lengies) for the dating app The Nice List discovers that she can employ “magic powers” to get the “naughty” people in her life to be good again. Chelsea makes the mistake of putting Fisher (Evan Williams), a male admirer, on the naughty list and then must scramble to undo it so the poor guy can drool all over her again by Christmas Eve. Thanks, but we’ll watch “A Christmas Carol.”
“A Cheerful Christmas”
Dec. 15, Hallmark
Lauren (Erica Deutschman, “Shadowhunters”) is employed as a Christmas coach — a what? — and she is hired by the Andersons, a fictional British royal family, to help them plan their holiday. The surly eldest son James (Chad Connell, also a “Shadowhunters” alum) is less than enthused about the endeavor, and sparks fly between them as Lauren tries to get through to him.
“Cherished Memories: A Gift to Remember 2″
Nov. 24, Hallmark
We don’t have time travel, and no one in this movie has magic powers, but we have amnesia (not brought on by Christmas). Darcy (Ali Liebert, “iZombie”) and Aiden (Peter Porte, “The Young and the Restless”) play a couple reconnecting after Darcy ran Aiden over with her bike and gave him amnesia. Ah, holiday situations we can all relate to!
“Christmas 9 to 5″
Nov. 24, Lifetime
Jennifer (Tiya Sircar, “The Good Place”) is a tough crime beat reporter who gets an assignment to find the true meaning of Christmas. This definitely checks out as a realistic assignment. To do this, she goes undercover to become a sales clerk and finds true love, because nothing says holiday spirit like pointless espionage.
“A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby”
Dec. 5, Netflix
The third entry in the “Christmas Prince” franchise after the eponymous first film (2017) and “A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding” (2018), this movie follows former reporter Amber (Rose McIver, “iZombie”) and her beau Richard (Ben Lamb, “The White Queen”), prince of fictional nation of Aldovia. In the third entry, a 600-year-old treaty vanishes, and an ancient curse threatens their family. You know, just an average couple’s holiday concerns.