English rugby player Joe Marler started an interview about his team’s recent loss with the standard pablum. “I’m hurting as much as the lads who are out there, but I definitely felt it and I know how hard the boys have taken that,” he told a reporter for the team’s website. “Bit disappointed with the account that they — that we — put out. We got another week to get back on the horse.”
It got much stranger from there.
“And take that horse to the water, and you can ask that horse, ‘Hey, horsey, do you want to have a drink? Or do you want to swim?’ It’s up to that horse to then realize what he wants to do in his life. That horse at the moment, he wants to go out on Saturday, he wants to clippity-clop all the way to the stoop. And he wants to say hello to those fans.”
It got stranger, again.
“And he goes, ‘I’m sorry about the result last week,” Marler continued, now speaking in his best talking horse accent. “But I’m gonna give a better performance here at home against Bath.’ [Normal voice resumes] He’s a slightly Irish horse. So we’re looking forward to, like we say, getting back on that horse.”
The interviewer then asks Marler if he’s looking forward to getting back on his own horse after missing six months.
“I don’t like horses. I can’t ride.”
