Quick reminder before we get to the "voluminous lists of fun Things to Do from the comfort of your couch" part of this whole deal: This week includes April Fool's Day, which is 99% garbage as a holiday, especially on the internet, where we all live now. If you are considering acting the clown when it comes to the 'rona (like, say, spreading unsourced claims on social or making up "joke" news stories to share) don't do that. Instead, let actual entertainers do the jokes and the frivolity. It's not like there's a shortage of exceedingly talented people providing a ton of stuff to keep your mind and soul all healthy and fed while you keep your body safe. Hit the links below and lets get through another week of all this together.


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Monday, March 30

Terrence McNally: Every Act of Life
On March 24th, one of the most celebrated playwrights in American history, and an outspoken activist for LGBTQ issues, died due to complications from COVID-19. Terrence McNally was an absolute titan on Broadway, and deservedly so. His passing has prompted PBS to make their American Masters documentary on his six decades of theater-work free to watch until April 1st. He used the arts to transform his own life, and millions of others as well. Maybe he'll transform yours, too.
(Now Streaming, PBS.org, free, all ages)

Make some DIY Face Masks for Folks Who Need Them
This DIY movement has been happening all over the country, and locally Cascadia Behavioral Healthcare is spearheading the drive to safely collect homemade masks and deliver them to wherever they can do the most good. While your homemade mask may not offer all the protection that frontline medical workers need, they can be used to cover existing N95 surgical masks (thereby extending their usage), as well as providing protection to support staff (receptionists, cleaning crews, stockroom, etc) so that N95 masks will be saved for those who need them most. Click here for full instructions on how to make them, and where to send them!
(Now Sewing, Your Home, Thank you SO much for doing this) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

SXSW: Support the Shorts
For a lot of folks, the COVID-19 alarm that pierced most sharply was the one that rang out when SXSW was canceled. That festival is such a big deal for a lot of artists, and many words have been written about the tragedy of all that work not being seen and heard. Well guess what: Our beloved Hollywood Theater made sure to let people know over the weekend that Oscilloscope Films and MailChimp have come together to make SXSW's short film program available, online, totally free. Over 50 shorts await you! Go watch 'em!
(Now Streaming, free)

Stuff You Should Know
Today was supposed to feature live episode of the award-winning podcast from HowStuffWorks, about... well, it's pretty much right there in the title. There's stuff out there. You need to know about it. Chuck Bryant and Josh Clark are really good at teaching it to you in an engrossing way. Anyway, it's not coming to town today, but you can still go to it, and you should. A good episode to start with is an early one, from 2008, entitled "Are Nazi War Criminals Still at Large?" hey, speaking of which...
(Now Streaming, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, IHeartRadio, Stitcher, free)

Hunters
Amazon Prime's latest original series is a lot more like The Boys than it is The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (which, btw, stopped being any good halfway through it's second season.) A darkly comic, very violent '70s-set fantasy about a team of vigilantes hunting down Nazis hiding in America, Hunters stars Al Pacino (!) and Logan Lerman (?), and features top-tier character actors like Carol Kane and Saul Rubinek in supporting roles. Did you like all the Nazi-killin' parts in Inglorious Basterds? You'll probably dig what this is serving up, too.
(Now Streaming, Amazon Prime Video)

Ghosts V and Ghosts VI
One unexpected side-effect of this coronavirus crisis? Musicians are dropping all-new albums out of nowhere and right into our headphones. The latest to get in on that action is Trent Reznor, who released two new all-instrumental additions to his Ghosts series. Clarification: Two new and free all-instrumental additions to his Ghosts series. You might as well download them now because you're probably going to hear them used as bumper music on all your favorite true-crime podcasts in a week anyway. Plus, who knows, maybe you will pick out the perfect eight-bar sample to turn into your very own industry-changing, genre-destroying remix single this time! Cain't nobody tell you nothaaaaainnnn...
(Now available, NIN.com, free, all ages)

Joe Exotic: Tiger King
Speaking of true-crime podcasts... everyone's been marveling at the Netflix documentary series Tiger King, charting the bizarre behaviors of people in a loose-knit "community" of big-cat lovers living in the American South. But that story was told first as part of Wondery's podcast series Over My Dead Body. The Netflix show is flashier, and weirder, and a lot more easily mockable; but the Robert Moor-hosted podcast—as podcasts are uniquely suited to being—is more piercing and personal. The participants are literally pleading their case inside your head, and the increasingly poor decisions made in support of their unhealthy obsessions pack more of a punch in podcast form—especially once you realize the political machinations that led to the feud at this story's center are functionally no different from any other case of fandom infighting: It's the same warped, perspective-free, desperate grasping for meaning going on since the first discussion forum ever popped up online. This one just has more ligers, mullets, and murder conspiracies.
(Now Available, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, free)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
From director Céline Sciamma, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is set in late-18th-century France on a remote island, where independent artist Marianne (Noémie Merlant) is commissioned to paint a portrait of Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) for her Milanese fiancé. There's just one thing: Héloïse refuses to sit for her portrait, as she does not want to get married to some strange man. So Marianne poses as the lady's maid in order to get close to her. Marianne and Héloïse's unfurling of feelings for each other is more than just wish fulfillment; there's an emotional logic to it that believably defies their historical context. If this sounds like a fanfic, it sort of is. And I mean that in the best way possible: The windswept, craggy background of the film, the propriety of the women's costumes, and the secretive closeness between Héloïse and Marianne are all so saccharine and gay, it's as if it were written by a feverish blogger. But that's also what makes the film so wonderful.
(Now Streaming, Hulu, $5.99 per month, free trial here) JASMYNE KEIMIG


Tuesday, March 31

Jinkx Monsoon
After 14 years away from Portland—14 years that included becoming a bonafide drag superstar on RuPaul's Drag Race, Jinkx Monsoon came home, and was set to celebrate that homecoming with an intimate live show at the Clinton Street Theater. Well, that show... is still happening on Jinkx's Insta, so that means not only are you still getting some top-notch entertainment, but now it's going to be even more intimate.
(Tues March 31, 8 pm, Instagram Live, free)

Cameron Esposito
COVID is causing us to miss a sure-to-be amazing stand-up set from Cameron Esposito, but if you want to be optimistic and bright-eyed about it, you could say it's providing an opportunity to catch up with the criminally underseen SeeSo show Take My Wife, a sitcom starring Esposito and Rhea Butcher as married comics that former Arts Editor Megan Burbank called "One of the most accurate depictions I’ve ever seen of what it’s like to experience comedy culture while female. They’re both deeply funny in their own totally different ways."
(Now Streaming, Hulu w/ Starz subscription, free trial here)

Hoop Dreams
Did Blazermania make Portland into a basketball town, or did Portland's pre-existing love of basketball make Blazermania bloom that much more easily? It's probably the former, but the point is: this city is hoops-crazy, and the shutdown has caused a lot of withdrawals. Before one of the city's absolute treasures, Movie Madness, temporarily closed to help keep everyone safe, the Mercury posted a list of basketball movies to rent from them while the (since-canceled) NCAA Tournament was going. The best film on that list, Hoop Dreams is streamable via HBO Now, and its not just the best film on that list, it's the best basketball movie ever made, and was probably the best movie of 1994. Yes, we know, that includes titles like Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, and The Lion King. The statement still holds.
(Now Streaming, HBO Now, $14.99 per month, free trial here)

Dua Lipa
Dua Lipa—the pop goddess whose 2017 "New Rules" single became an anthem for the recently heartbroken—has dropped her newest album "Future Nostalgia" two weeks early. While the reason might simply be because the album was already leaking all over the internet, I like to think it was because this joyous, dance club-ready collection of bangers are exactly what's needed for our current COVID-19 malaise. While most of these songs had me on my feet and moving, even while reading/enduring the never-ending stream of depressing coronavirus news, a special shoutout goes to Lipa's single "Hallucinate" which temporarily turned my dining room workspace into an all-out dance party. (Read our full review here) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

Slow Burn: Season 3
The third season of Slate's acclaimed podcast Slow Burn shifted a little when host Leon Neyfakh left Slate to start his own thing. Where Neyfakh's focus was on political scandals of the past (Season 1, Watergate; Season 2, the Clinton impeachment), new host Joel Anderson left the Beltway and set up shop in Brooklyn and Los Angeles instead, going into the story behind why Christopher Wallace—better known as Biggie Smalls—and Tupac Shakur fell out so severely it eventually lead to their murders. Both cases remain unsolved, and the show doesn't claim to have changed that (there's some theories in here that sound better than others though), but the real value comes in how much context Anderson provides to Biggie and Pac's lives, their place in hip-hop history, and how their impact radiated out from them, both while they were still alive, and after they passed.
(Now available, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, free)

The Outer Wilds
Today is the last day of Sony's sale on The Outer Wilds, a little game from Mobius Studios (released through Annapurna Games) that didn't just win a bunch of Game of the Year awards for 2019, but delivered some of the most deeply affecting gaming experiences available... like, ever. It's a space exploration and adventure game, one that resets your adventuring every 22 minutes, like Groundhog Day or Russian Doll or whatever your favorite zen-like story might be. There's a tale threaded through all these adventures, and when it lands that last punch, it wallops you. Today is the last day you can purchase it from Sony's store for $18.74, but even at it's regular $25 price, the game is a steal.
(Now available, $18.74, PlayStation Store, all ages)

Virtual OMSI Science Pub: Geology of the Columbia Gorge
OMSI may be closed but the learning must continue! Their popular Science Pub series gets the livestream treatment, starting with a 10-question trivia game, and then proceeding to talk with Portland State University's Professor Scott Burns about the local treasure that is the Gorge.
(Tues March 31, 6:30 pm, Facebook, free)


Wednesday, April 1

The I, Anonymous Show
We know that a ton of people only check the Merc specifically to read I, Anonymous, and we thank you for it! The hope is that you poke around and enjoy the rest of what we have to offer, but even if we're just your I Anonymous outlet, we do a lot to make that as entertaining as possible for you—and that includes turning it into a long-running live show, and turning that live show into a podcast! We're working on getting new episodes created in the midst of the COVID-19 shutdown, but in the meantime, why not go through our podcast archive and check out some of our classic live shows, like... this one, tastefully titled "Taint vs. Chode," hosted by Kate Murphy, and starring Ben Harkins, Stephanie Patricio, and Moral Orel creator Dino Stamatopoulos!
(Now streaming, Apple Podcasts, free)

Tennis
Tennis crooner Alaina Moore sings with a pretty, detached purity that is fully explained by the fact that she honed her skills while singing in a church choir. Moore’s voice is paired with the duo’s fondness for ’70s imagery and lyrics that detail vague, despondent love affairs, creating eerie pop-rock that feels both quaint and melodramatic. Tennis’ songs could soundtrack a slow dance in a high school gym, or salacious suburban adultery. EMMA BURKE

Keep Calm and Colorcraft On
Badge Bomb is a blessing for folks looking to spread joy and share smiles, and in response to everyone being hunkered down as COVID does its thing, They've made a bunch of free activity sheets available on their website, with pieces by Gemma Correll, I Heart Guts, and others waiting to be downloaded and turned into vibrant art courtesy of your own markers, paints, crayons, and pencils. And if you see fit to purchase some of their other products, they'll kick in a free sticker sheet.
Now Available, BadgeBomb.com, free, all ages)

Get Tipsy, Stay Classy
The Bon Appétit YouTube channel is a must-subscribe, because it's thoroughly entertaining, very educational, and because anything on that sanity-destroying hellpit of hate-grift and youth-indoctrinating conspiracies that is good needs all the support and love it can get. Plus: Bon Appétit knows how to get you buzzed in style. Searching their channel for the word "cocktail" is a good way to spend this Wednesday—mix yourself a reward for surviving April Fool's Day: Global Pandemic Edition, using 10 all-star chefs' favorite recipes!

Make Happy
It's interesting to think there are people who know of Bo Burnham as the guy who made Eighth Grade and that's it. Burnham was one of the very first YouTube stars, and translated that into a very successful (and oddly-provocative) stage career. His last special, 2015's Make Happy is technically considered a "stand-up" set, but it's closer to a one-man show that deconstructs, re-constructs, and remixes the conventions of stand-up as needed. Make Happy climaxes in a silly spoof/riff on Kanye West's concerts that ends up becoming somehow transcendent, despite (or because of) being an autotuned metaphorical examination on badly-built burritos.
(Now Streaming, Netflix, $7.99 per month, free trial here)

Eighth Grade
Hey, since it got mentioned, you should probably go ahead and watch this as part of a Bo Burnham double-feature tonight. Arts Editor Suzette Smith put it this way: "Who’s pumped up to feel some empathy? (AIRHORN SOUND) Guidance counselors? I see you! Maybe very cool parents? Auuuuuunts? Alas, no actual eighth graders can see this film without going with one of their parents (awesome!), since Burnham likes the swears and Eighth Grade is rated R." But now that it's streaming, actual eighth graders don't have to worry about being turned away at the box-office. Even better: They can use their Multnomah County Library Cards to go online and watch it for free courtesy the library's partnership with the Kanopy streaming service.
(Now Streaming, Kanopy, free w/ MultCo Library card)

Stumptown
If you've headed into Downtown anytime in the past half-year, you've seen Cobie Smulders peacefully resting atop a dented hooptie with its windshield smashed in. That image is an ad for ABC's Stumptown, a detective show based on the Oni Press comic by Greg Rucka, Matthew Southworth, and Justin Greenwood. The book was conceived by Rucka as "my love letter to The Rockford Files," and the show (which got a little less grimy and crimey on the way from comic to series) finds that lane and J-turns into it deftly. Smulders should have had a legitimate star vehicle long before now, and much of the show's pleasure comes from watching her navigate the case-of-the-week scenarios showrunner Jason Richman throws at her. Plus: Jake Johnson in a burly beard being gruff 'n' cute 'n' shit! Stumptown finished its first full season last Wednesday, so you can binge the whole thing in one go now on Hulu.
(Now Streaming, Hulu, $5.99 per month, free trial here)


Thursday, April 2

Beastie Boys Book
Today was supposed to feature the IMAX premiere of Beastie Boys Story, the Spike Jonze documentary about Mike D, Ad Rock, and MCA's amazing adventures through the worlds of punk rock, hip-hop, groove holmes, and boomin' grannies. That woulda been one big-ass fish-eye lens to sit in front of. The documentary is still coming (to Apple TV+ in April, watch the trailer here), but while you wait, why not check out the audiobook version of Beastie Boys Book, the hefty memoir primarily written by Mike D and Ad Rock, but supplemented with anecdotes and stories by artists who worked with the boys. The audiobook features even more special guests (including Chuck D, Bette Midler, Steve Buscemi, Nas, Amy Poehler, Elvis Costello, Talib Kweli, Jeff Tweedy, Jon Stewart, MC Serch LOL, and more) and is well worth putting in your headphones to enjoy the 13 hours of b-boy goodness it provides.
(Now Available, Multnomah County Library via Overdrive; Also available at Audible.com, $35 to own, free w/ 30-day trial)

The Great British Baking Show
This was once the world's go-to televisual comfort food. And then there was some weird drama behind-the-scenes, and hosts left, and everything just felt sort of awkward for a minute? Why the hell should a show as wholesome, entertaining, and delicious as this one become a behind-the-scenes mess like the kind other, lesser reality shows put in front of the cameras? But the show did come back, with new hosts in the mix, and... it's still good? It's still good. Paul Hollywood's rapport with Prue Leith is, surprisingly, better than it was with Mary Berry. Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding are a different shade of gentle and caring than original hosts Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins (and dare we say... funnier?), but the show is still good! Set aside that nagging (and frankly, silly) feeling that you're betraying prior seasons by watching the new ones, and enjoy spending time with perfectly pleasant people making pastries in a pasture.
(Now Streaming, Netflix, $7.99 per month, free trial here)

Better Things
There might be no comedy series currently running that is as consistently cathartic as Pamela Adlon's Better Things. It was always good, but the leap the show has taken in its last two seasons (not coincidentally, the two seasons created sans-input from Adlon's former collaborator Louis C.K.) is something to behold. Not every character in the show—not Pamela's character, not her daughters, and certainly not the parade of people storming in and out of her already turbulent life—is likeable, but they're all in their own way extremely loveable, in the hard, complicated, but rewarding way you might recognize in relationships with your own (often-infuriating) family members.
(New Episodes Thursdays at 9 pm, FX Network; Now Streaming, Hulu, $5.99 per month, free trial here)

Wynne
We all might not be leaving Portland anytime soon, but that's okay, we're gonna get through this together. You know who else isn't leaving? Wynne. In a January interview with Music Editor Jenni Moore, Wynne made sure to let everyone know that no matter how much success she rings up (and she's already rung up a lot), she's not going anywhere: "Dame [Lillard] actually instilled a lot of that in me, because he’s very much like, 'I came to Portland, I’m gonna bring my city a ring. Like, whatever that takes, I’m not leaving to get a ring. If I get one, it’s gonna be in Portland.' And that kind of loyalty is something I really look up to and realize is important to me, too." (Read the full interview here) Wynne's going to get her ring sooner rather than later; get familiar with her discography now, so you can feel just a teensy-bit superior when the rest of the world rightfully jumps on the bandwagon later.