Will my son regress educationally? What if my daughter’s social skills are stunted? Will my pre-schooler struggle to settle back in? These are a few of the concerns flooding parents’ minds since schools closed a month ago as part of the measures to contain the coronavirus outbreak.

So how exactly will this difficult situation affect children who were abruptly stopped from going to school and attend extracurricular activities – all while having their living room turned into a classroom?

Children suffered an enormous disruption to their lives during these unprecedented times. However, this is a temporary situation and the impact of this disruption is unlikely to have lasting effects on their social development. With adequate support from parents and caregivers, children will grow and thrive through this experience too, explain counselling psychologist Luisa Eminyan and clinical psychologist Veronica Ellul, who are also mothers.

This situation, they explain, requires an adjustment on the part of children and parents alike.

Help children manage the abruptness

When it comes to children the first thing is to help them manage the abruptness of it all – that did not allow time for preparation or closure, Eminyan and Ellul say. Online lessons allow children to maintain contact with their teachers and provide a sense of community. Communication with peers can be retained on the phone or online.

While some children miss being at school, others might see this as extra holidays. In such cases, parents should validate this feeling to help children stay calm while helping them understand why this “vacation” is different: they cannot go out or meet friends, they need to stick to a schedule and do schoolwork in between all the fun.

“Creating a new, yet familiar routine in their daily life at home is important to give them a sense of predictability in an otherwise very unpredictable scenario. So bedtimes, naptimes, mealtimes and so on should be respected,” Eminyan and Ellul say.

Parents need to accept their limits

It’s not only children who need to adjust. As the pressure piles up on parents to handle children full-time while working from home, they need to accept the situation.

“It is important that parents accept their limits and understand that this is crisis schooling and not homeschooling. Do not stress unduly about your child missing out on school – remember children the world over, are all in the same boat.

“Also don’t expect your children to perform academically or study as much as they would if they were at school – even we are less productive than we normally are,” Eminyan and Ellul say.

Prof. Adrian-Mario Gellel, head of the Department of Early Childhood and Primary Education within the University of Malta agrees. From an educational point of view, he says: “The most evident impact we may expect is on the affective dimension. If the child is upset, bored or anxious there will be little if any learning,” he says. This is why parents need to focus on creating a safe and reassuring environment.

They are teaching children informally by listening to their interests, sharing their own, allowing space for creativity, reading, storytelling and using technology well.   

“Parents should understand that for children, the closure of schools is not just ‘losing lessons’ and ‘not completing the syllabus’. Children are missing the rough and tumble of school life, the ‘silly’ adventures, the pranks, the laughs.

Don’t expect your children to study as much as they would at school

“These are also an important part of their school life that help them grow. 

“Therefore, parents should remember this aspect of their children’s schooling as much as their academic learning and take measures to mitigate the negative effect that the lack of physical interaction with peers has on their child,” he says.

A good starting point is for parents to stop stressing themselves, and their children, about catching up with schoolwork or repeating.

“One must remember that even though every child is unique, the current situation disrupted the lives of all children.” This is a difficult and stressful time for children who respond differently according to their age, with some experiencing anxiety and fear, explain Eminyan and Ellul.

Pre-schoolers

Very young children may not truly understand the facts of the situation, but they may still feel unsettled by the changes in routine or pick up the feelings of those around them. 

They may react by becoming more demanding, fussy and clingy.  They may return to behaviours which they had outgrown such as bed-wetting and tantrums.

Spending quality time and being emotionally available will help them build a secure attachment with their parents, and this will help them once they return back to school.

Children who are prone to anxiety may struggle with separation anxiety once they return to school.

Elementary school children

Children at this age may be more likely to express feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and fear.

They may choose whether to talk about the situation or not. It’s important to acknowledge their feelings. Giving them accurate, age appropriate information is important, without exposing them too much to details.

Help them put things in perspective, view this as temporary and reframe ideas like “we are stuck at home” to “we are safe at home”.

Peer relationships start becoming more important. Provide opportunities for them to connect with peers or relatives through virtual mediums under supervision. 

Adolescents

Pre-teens and teens are more likely to react to stressful situations by withdrawing emotionally or acting out. Adolescents that perhaps have poor social skills may feel isolated and may have trouble fitting in once things return to normal.

Parents may need to reach out to their teens and find ways to connect with them socially and emotionally. 

Tips for parents

Be mindful of your own reactions: children and young people are highly intuitive and pick up emotional cues.  If children see parents reacting calmly they will do the same.

Listen to and acknowledge their feelings and talk about them honestly. Help them find solutions and teach them coping skills through positive activities, practicing gratitude and relaxation techniques.

Connect regularly. Build and strengthen your relationship through playing together and sharing other activities you carry out daily at home, involve them and give them responsibilities.

It would be helpful for parents living together to agree to divide childcare responsibilities especially if both are working from home and have younger children.  In that way everyone gets a break. 

As a general rule, any behavioural and emotional changes that are long lasting (more than a month) should be looked into and parents should consider consulting a mental health professional.

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.