The fat Indian wedding

Growing up, I read a story once about a man who was traveling a long distance with his pony. Someone passed him commenting on how insensitive he was to have the pony carry so much weight. By the end of the story, he was up carrying the pony on his back instead. The same analogy perfects fit the fat Indian wedding. I have never understood the fad for big fat weddings. I believe the reason why Indians spend so much money on marriages, even though it makes absolutely no sense, basically amounts to the perception in society. The perception of what society thinks about us has always driven our thinking, and this is strengthened by generation after generation. Social media has made things worse, as we know. It has triggered an enormous increase in our worldly proclivities. Even our love is a slave to virtual reality. To understand this better, Matrimony.com conducted The Big Fat Indian Wedding Market Survey 2018 to study how the young Indians plan their wedding. They assessed 946 people all over India who participated online. The survey revealed that 20.6% of females were planning to spend Rs.10 to 20 lakhs while it was 11.2% of males for the same spending bracket. 6.1% of female respondents said they were going to pay Rs. 20 to 40 lakhs at the wedding. According to the Wall Street Journal, the great Indian wedding, like the tremendous Indian waistline, has bloated to keep up with great Indian aspirations.

In most of the weddings I have attended, the invitees have always gone back, remarking disapprovingly on at least one aspect of the wedding. The society needs a reason to push you down, and they will always find an excuse. Parents of a whole new generation are about to blow their savings – whether they can afford to or not. In India, marriage is the tangible proof of the socioeconomic status of a family. As such, the upper-middle-class families spend a small fortune during the wedding, and the parents start planning for their child’s marriage years in advance. The competitive spending on weddings has bankrupted many a middle-class family and pushed poorer ones into debt—all to impress friends and family. If a family refuses to spend exorbitant amounts of money on weddings, they are considered social outsiders. India is the world’s second-largest consumer of the metal, and 60% of this demand is due to bridal jewelry — in a country with an annual GDP per capita of only $1805. Weddings today have become a platform to showcase the ability to command respect in our society. This widespread perception is what creates additional societal pressure for parents. They need to plan decades to give in ultimately. Weddings have become the single most visible expression of a person’s social standing and wealth, an indication that is both acceptable. In a country like India, where most people live a simple lifestyle, it’s outrageous that most of the savings of an average middle-class family are kept aside for -their son’s/daughter’s wedding.

In every religion and culture, there are different rituals and customs when it comes to weddings. The events at the wedding could last several days, depending on the region, religion, caste, desire, and spending capacity. Families spend significant sums of money on the venue, decor, outfits, jewelry, and gifts for their relatives. With growing awareness of Instagrammable trends, these costs go up when celebrity makeup artistes and wedding photographers get added to the mix.

While we have always felt the need to be extravagant at weddings, this overindulgence has now reached ridiculous heights.

This pandemic has probably made virtual, the new reality. Indian weddings are associated with lavish food arrangement, grand decor, music, and dance. COVID-19 has forced couples to give up on their plans to have a dream wedding. Zoom has emerged as a solution to get married in front of loved ones while still maintaining social distancing guidance and preventing possible COVID-19 exposure. A wedding is an important day and a significant moment in time. It signifies the day we commit the rest of our lives to another human being—to love, cherish, and honor until death does us part. It is a commitment we make in front of friends and family and often represents the joining of two families. Due to lockdown, marriages are happening with only 15 to 20 people from both the bride and bridegroom sides. This move has drastically reduced the total cost of the weddings and eased the burden of poverty-ridden families. This proves that Weddings can be performed simply in the right circumstances.

Weddings were supposed to be beautiful moments that symbolized the beginning of a journey that brought together two souls. Today, it is a 100,000-crore industry, which is growing at 25 to 30% annually. While I hold no judgment over anyone’s view of their dream wedding, when things go out of hand, perhaps it is time to re-look at the mockery that weddings have become. My whole argument is not against the celebration. Clearly, this ostentatious and vulgar display of wealth is causing more harm than good at a broader level.