Can the NBA find magic inside the Walt Disney World bubble?
This will be no Mickey Mouse operation. The NBA has drafted 113 pages of rules, procedures and policies to prevent COVID-19 from striking midnight on the season when it resumes July 30. Nothing goofy about that.
Fear, boredom and anticipation have left millions of NBA fans mentally frozen. Meanwhile, their kids will watch the adventures of Elsa and Anna 249 times this holiday weekend.
Damn you, Disney+.
Pinocchio’s BFF Jiminy Cricket famously told us “when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you.”
You can still watch 1940’s “Pinocchio” on the interwebs. But no one has gone through Geppetto’s Facebook posts. Rumor has it he was a big fan of Mussolini. Maybe he was simply kissing up to Walt.
News of more players having coronavirus, a surge of positive test results in Florida and concerns about how NBA players and related team personnel will stay safe and sane during the eight-game regular-season spurt and postseason are part of the pro basketball’s new normal.
Disney will need its best “imagineers” to pull this off. Some quality time with Aladdin’s lamp wouldn’t hurt. The Celtics hope Jayson Tatum can find a size-14 glass slipper inside Cinderella’s castle in time for the Eastern Conference finals.
But how many people associated with the Association are wishing upon their Death Star that the season never resumes? Their noses may grow if you asked. Blue Check Media Doomsters use each tidbit of bad virus-related news to reinforce the narrative that all entertainment, sports and public activity (save for approved protests, riots and occupations) must be halted until CNN calls Florida for Joe Biden on Election Night.
Still, virus or no virus, the “Happiest Place on Earth” gets downright miserable after just two days in the summer heat. Now imagine not being able to leave for up to three months amid swelter, hurricanes and forced celibacy.
Mavericks owner Mark Cuban told TIME Magazine that maintaining good mental health will be the toughest challenge for players. “If you’re going to the Finals, that’s effectively four months — 114 give or take days — of sequestering. And I think that’s a bigger issue than the threat of rapid expansion or you know reaching some level of critical mass in cases in the surrounding area,” he said.
Also breaking news: TIME Magazine still exists.
When it comes to off-court amusement, ping-pong might not cut it for everyone.
“Do we really think the ‘recreational activities’ that these guys are accustomed to are going to be compromised for three months?” ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith asked on Tuesday. “You really, really think somebody’s gonna be without their wives or their woman? You really, really think they’re honoring a bubble for three months?”
The Love Bug might prove a tougher out than COVID-19.
Amid this pessimism and barring an unforeseen coronavirus disaster, there will be NBA games in the summer of 2020 for three simple reasons:
Money. Players want to get paid. ESPN and TNT desperately need eyeballs and ad revenue. Sponsors need to sell their products. Nike last week reported a quarterly net loss of $790 million and a sales decline of 38% year-over-year. The ‘ESPY Awards’ attracted only 482,000 total viewers across ESPN and ESPN2 the night it aired live. That’s about 10% of the audience Tucker Carlson draws for one of his 25-minute scorched-earth monologues. ESPN clocked the lowest ratings ever for its studio programming two weeks ago. No games. No highlights. No viewers. The NBA is spending a reported $150 million for its mini Magic Kingdom. There is too way much digital currency at stake for any side to walk away. “You know, is it for the money? Yes, that’s a big part of it. Is it because our guys are professionals and they want to do their jobs like any other professional in any other industry? Yes, that’s a big part of it,” Cuban said. Forget science. Greed is the best cure for fear.
LeBron James Wants Another Title. There was never any sustained resistance against returning among players. Kyrie Irving tried to organize an insurrection. But he was never going to Orlando, anyway. The Lakers are +240 betting favorites to win the NBA championship. James covets a crown this year more than ever following the death of Kobe Bryant. Sure, every player desires a championship. Teams like the Celtics and Bucks are on record as having all of their players all in it to win it. But would we really see such a league-wide push to return this year if LeBron and the Lakers weren’t going to make the playoffs?
The Platform. Athletes and coaches believe the masses care about what they have to say when it comes to matters of real-world substance, even if they weren’t athletes or coaches. Well, I won’t ruin it for them here. Having games will provide NBA players the opportunity to make their case to change America. The NBA will paint “Black Lives Matter” on courts being used for nationally televised games. Players will be allowed to sport slogans supporting social justice, racial equality or any other cause on their jerseys. Three words you definitely will NOT see: “Free Hong Kong.”
I’ve never been a “shut up and dribble” guy. Mine was a rare voice in Boston supporting Tim Thomas’ First Amendment rights back in 2012. Nearly every other columnist, scribe, blogger, Tweeter, radio host and TV talking head in and of the Bay State told Thomas to “shut the puck up.”
“Stick to sports, Tim!” they cried.
Neither the NBA nor its players are sticking to sports. That is both their right and business plan. It is not new. Sports have been entrenched with politics since the original Olympic Games were developed by ancient Greek city-states as a substitute for war. A way to prove one’s manhood in the buff without getting killed in the process.
Our urgent need for sports has yet to wane. 2020 is beating Earth 42-0 at halftime, or so I’ve been told on Twitter. Tom Brady is not around to bail us out, either. He’s dropping dimes and FDR references while playing catch with his new teammates — without a mask! — in Tampa.
NBA Fantasyland never looked so good.
Bill Speros (@RealOBF) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com
