In death, my husband remains my mentor
It has been three years since the late renowned actor, playwright and author, Dr. Adebayo Faleti, popularly known as Alagba Faleti, died. But he is still being missed by those he left behind, especially his wife, Olubunmi Faleti, a former staff of the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA), Ibadan. In this chat with EVELYN OSAGIE, she shares some insights into their world before his demise.
My husband, my mentor
I call him Alagba Faleti. In death, my husband remains my mentor. He was a man of integrity who did not lack in contentment. Despite that the reward he received from the government was not commensurate with his good deeds, Adebayo Faleti really protected his dignity as a man who was upright in behaviour and character throughout his lifetime and in his career as a civil servant.
Being a writer’s wife
Being a writer’s wife is no small feat. I recall that whenever my husband was writing, I would sit beside his reading table, to give him inspiration with fried meat. He liked meat so much perhaps because he was a hunter.
Life as a widow
To be a widow is a hard experience. This is because the work of hitherto two supporting hands is now left for just one hand to continue in the race for survival; if not for God and the support of people, it would have been worse. That is why I cannot but say thank you to some wonderful people in my life for their support since the past three years and now that I have retired from the NTA. When my darling husband went to rest in the bosom of the Almighty three years back, I thought then that all hopes were lost. That is why words are not enough to show my heartfelt appreciation to every person that has stood by us up until now, many of whom space may not allow me to mention. However, some of them are Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey, Omo’ba Joko Okupe, Omo’ba Kunle Ogunmola, Ambassador Yemi Farounmbi, Prof. Toyin Abifarin Ogundeji of OAU, Ile-Ife, Prof. Tunde Adeniran, Omo’ba Ajibola Afonja, Prof. Moji Oyebola, Iyalode Yoruba (Mrs.) Alaba Lawson, Rev. Dr. Dokun Olatunde Seap, Otunba Adebayo Alao-Akala, Mr. Dayo Olagunju, Chief Duro Oyekanle and Comrade T.K.O. Olatunji of Ijebu.
Most challenging moment in our union
I’d say these words to encourage the young, especially young couples. Trying times may come, like we are experiencing in this season of COVID-19 but patience is the key. Hunger is actually a terrible thing. Whosoever that has experienced it would know the worth and benefit of food in the body system and the need for someone to hustle hard for a good and healthy living.
This made me to remember between 1986 and 1987 when I and my husband went through a trying time, like what many are going through right now. It is unfortunate that writing does not pay the bill, neither does acting.
I remember we both hawked kerosene, just to make ends meet. We knew almost all the market days then and would surely be present during their buying and selling days.
After hawking kerosene in the morning, I would go back home again and quickly take some iced blocks to hawk the same morning before going to the office for the day’s job. Then, I was a staff of the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA), Ibadan.
My daughters too had to hawk soft drinks after returning from school, just to be able to make enough money for them to take to school the next day.
It was indeed a very hard time then for me and my husband to survive. But we were undaunted. My husband would always say “isé eni ni’sé eni, má tijú isé’re.” Here was a man of integrity who lived a life full of contentment, even when the government did not really compensate him enough for his good deeds while he was here on earth.
He was a very caring and humble man indeed and he was not ashamed of his hustle.
Meeting my husband
I met my husband in a very interesting manner. I still recall my mother pursuing him and his other renowned friends with brooms and sticks out of our house.
It was in 1980, I was a member of the O.Y.O. choir. Alagba Faleti had asked me to see him. After advising me about life, he asked if I could be his wife. I was shocked at first, and then afraid and angry because he was very much older than me and must have been married. Then I taught he was out to deceive me. He told me he was married before but was staying alone.
I was preparing to go to a teacher’s training college then. He told me he was willing to support me to any length and advised that I should inform my parents about our discussion. I didn’t. I was their first child and they wanted me to further my education. My father was a well-known Christ Apostolic Church prophet and one of the traditions in C.A.C. is one wife to one husband. I couldn’t talk to my father about it.
Then, one day, Alagba Faleti and some of his friends – Prof. Olatunde Olatunji, Prof. Akinwumi Ishola and Baba Tunji Daramola of Salem Baptist Church – came to see my parents. My mother did not even wait to listen but chased them all out of our house Today, the rest is history. To the glory God today, I have no regrets. In death, I’d still say marrying him was the best thing ever.
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