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It’s about mental health: How the Cowboys are trying to cope after a brutal emotional rollercoaster

Coach Mike McCarthy issued players and coaches personal time to process the tragic loss of strength and conditioning coordinator Markus Paul.

The message is a common one, something NFL coaches and players often deliver over the course of a year. It’s intended as a guide on handling the emotional ebbs and flows within a game or season.

Don’t ride the roller coaster.

“That’s one of the most important things you can do as a football player, as a team,” Pro Bowl guard Zack Martin in September. “Never get too high, never get too low.”

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That no longer applies in Dallas. Not right now.

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As an organization, the Cowboys were exposed last week to a brutal fluctuation on the emotional spectrum. The low came Tuesday morning when strength and conditioning coordinator Markus Paul suddenly collapsed at The Star. On Wednesday, at age 54, he died.

Coach Mike McCarthy gave his players and coaches what he believed they needed most this weekend: personal time to process the difficult period.

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“It’s one of those things you go home, and the hugs are a little bit tighter with the wife and kids and all that sort of stuff, and you appreciate those things,” offensive coordinator Kellen Moore said. “I think guys handled it the best we could. As a team, also the short week of it, it was a balancing act for all of us for sure.”

The Cowboys (3-8) haven’t experienced many emotional highs this season. But last weekend was one of them.

McCarthy’s messy message was received.

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The next day, the Cowboys unveiled a new-look offensive line with Martin making the first start at right tackle of his NFL career. Safety Donovan Wilson played like a revelation in the first half. The offense achieved balance and the defense made two late stops in a 31-28 upset at U.S Bank Stadium.

The win, which snapped a four-game losing skid, was Dallas’ first since Oct. 11, when quarterback Dak Prescott was injured. It moved the Cowboys into a three-way tie for second place in the NFC East, just a half-game behind the Philadelphia Eagles.

On the flight home, the result was celebrated.

Come Monday, coaches and players shifted gears. An opportunity awaited on Thanksgiving to make an incredible vault from being on pace to own the No. 4 overall pick in the 2021 draft to taking the lead in the NFC East.

Tuesday was the major workday.

Shortly before 7:30 a.m., inside the team’s weight room, Paul was joking with a defensive back on the Cowboys’ practice squad and headed to his office. All seemed normal until it wasn’t. The gravity of the situation immediately was clear. The player hurried for help.

Quickly, word spread.

Special teams coordinator John Fassel recalls standing in the locker room, chatting with players and distributing breakfast items about five minutes before a 7:30 meeting.

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“The guys were about to come in, and one of the trainers came racing through with the defibrillator,” Fassel said Friday. “And I followed him into the weight room and was a witness to everything that happened. And it was hard, hard to see.

“And when I first got hired here (in January), one of my first trips into our entire facility was into the weight room …and the entire strength staff was in there. I remember Markus was one of the first people I met as a Dallas Cowboy. And I didn’t know him before I got hired. So, just a great, great man. It’s not even reality what happened just a couple days ago. It’s not even — how did it just happen? A coach just passed away in our office three days ago. It’s not even real.”

McCarthy and Moore were upstairs in an office, preparing for a meeting.

Someone rushed in and informed them of the situation. They hurried downstairs and quickly sensed the concern and fear in the area, as players and coaches watched the scene unfolded. Paramedics arrived minutes later.

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Defensive coordinator Mike Nolan, upstairs in an office with defensive coaches, saw the ambulance from a window. He then was briefed on Paul’s medical emergency.

“For me to process it,” Nolan said, “it did immediately bring back some memories of Thomas.”

In 2005, San Francisco 49ers guard Thomas Herrion collapsed in the locker room following a preseason road game against the Denver Broncos. He was pronounced dead that evening, a heart issue later determined as the cause. He was 23.

Nolan needed to lead as the 49ers’ head coach.

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McCarthy, his offensive coordinator at the time, was just an “arms’ length” from Herrion when Herrion dropped to the floor, Nolan said. McCarthy and Nolan have had multiple conversations about Herrion this past week, rehashing the aftermath and how it was handled.

McCarthy made a quick decision Tuesday to cancel practice. He wanted players to go home. If they had family members in town, be with them. Practice resumed Wednesday.

As players and coaches prepared for Washington, staff members prepared a video presentation of Paul that would be displayed Thursday inside AT&T Stadium before a moment of silence. Equipment staff prepared black decals with “MP” in white letters to be placed on the back of the helmets.

Thanksgiving came.

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On the Cowboys’ first offensive drive, they lost both starting tackles in a five-play span. Left tackle Cam Erving sprained his right MCL Then, on the right side, Martin aggravated a left calf injury.

Dallas trailed by four to begin the fourth quarter before ceding 21 straight points in a 41-16 loss. McCarthy called the entire experience “emotional exhausting.”

It’s not about riding the highs and lows in an NFL season.

It’s about mental health.

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During what has been an already difficult year with COVID-19, the Cowboys have professionals on staff to be a resource as needed. McCarthy has used his own dealings with a mental health worker as an example to players.

In 1995, McCarthy was the Kansas City Chiefs’ quarterbacks coach while going through a divorce.

“It was taboo to talk to somebody,” McCarthy said. “But that doesn’t exist [now]. I know it doesn’t in our organization. When people are open to talk about it, I think it definitely helps. It probably helps save one another.”

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