Genuine Julia Zahra: Songs of Love, Life, and “What If’s”

For queer musician Julia Zahra, this is the first time she has publicly visited some of her deeply personal life experiences. Raised in The Netherlands, the pop-soul singer who won The Voice of Holland at age 18, the now 25-year-old is getting real about some of her most formative years.

The young artist was born in Indiana but was adopted and raised in the European country and has taken to writing music as a way of surveying many “What if…” questions she found herself facing as a young adult. Now, she has emerged with an entire album and has debuted the incredibly touching and vulnerable art that makes up her personhood. She hits some hot-topic buttons, like being both biracial and bisexual, but there is so much more below the surface and she’s not afraid to let people know who she is and what she wants out of life.

From queer life in Amsterdam, to sharing about her adoption publicly, to what life has looked like for the singer-songwriter over the last year, Zahra is sweet, she is honest, and she is real. Not much lay in wait, for she is proud of where she’s come from, who she’s become, and the work she’s done to get where she’s going.

So many touring artists have found themselves home more than ever over the last year. Did this extra time give you a chance to work on new music?
Well, at first it was a bit of a struggle because there wasn’t much going on, so not much inspiration to find. And a little bit into the lockdown period, maybe like two months in, I figure OK I have to I have to turn to the inside and do some healing. I thought, ‘Well, I have all this time on my own, and I have to be OK with myself,’ so I started that process and the songs kind of followed. I just started writing again and I had some new topics to write about. A few of those songs came to be on the album so it was it was a good period, as well it was also really tough, but for writing it’s been good.

What did that process of looking inward look like for you?
I think it started with me just trying to figure out what was bugging me in my day to day life and what was I struggling with. And then I figured it was about how I react to certain things and also about my friends and my family. So I talked to as many people as I could and I just started reflecting on the relationships I had with people. It was really nice to go over all the relationships and find out who really matters to me and what really matters to me in life.

It seems like now is a time where a lot of people are either making stronger bonds with important people in their lives and letting go of superficial connections.
It’s kind of impossible to not reflect on what matters and who matters in your life during the last few months because it’s literally all we had. There’s just not much going on outside, and we have to reflect on those relationships.

What was your coming out journey like?
It was actually OK. I came out to my parents first when I was 14, and I was very much in love with my first girlfriend so I just felt like I had to scream it to everyone I met. I remember a friend of mine, she kind of told everyone for me, and at the time I was like, ‘Oh, that’s nice because now that I don’t have to do it,’ it kind of felt like a burden that was not mine anymore. But afterwards, I thought, ‘It’s not really up to you to tell (other) people about their sexual preferences.’ We talked about it afterwards and now it’s okay but it was kind of a thing back then. I think as for the rest, it kind of spread through the school and everyone was okay with it. I think I’m not really the person to be picked on because I’m really comfortable with who I am, So, there’s not really a lot to pick on.

Is that self-confidence something that you learned or something innately in you?
I guess it’s in me but I also wouldn’t really call it ‘self-confidence’ because it feels like it’s such a natural and logical thing to me, you know, I am who I am and if you dislike something of me, then that’s really your problem. I learned the past few months I learned psychologically that’s how I work; I think it was in me to figure out the basics of that when I was younger, so yeah, I guess it’s always been inside me.

It sounds like you really trust your intuition.
It hasn’t always been like this, not in all aspects of life. I can be really insecure about things, and definitely about my music, but these personal things just come so natural to me. I just can’t really get my head around why people would dislike something so personal about someone else.

How was the preparation of the new album, Remedy?
It’s been a long process: I started writing about a year-and-a-half or two years ago. I’m just so happy it’s finally out and people can listen to it; it also creates so much space to write again and think of a new album.

How has the reception been?
Really good, I’m happy it’s streaming and people are listening. I’m getting some really nice reactions and it’s heartwarming. It’s really scary to release music or art that’s really personal, and these are very, very personal stories of mine. I’m very happy that people accept them and they can somewhat identify with them; it feels really good.

The entire album really does feels like a cohesive piece of art. 
Thank you for that because I always go for a cohesive piece of art and I really want everything to be connected to each other. But if it’s been such a long process, then sometimes that gets hard. It really came natural with picking the songs, they kind of have the same theme, and I think the production side of it made it a little bit easier, too.

Related article: Indie Rock Band, Hey King, on Debut Album

Did any of the songs change during the production process or help push you to grow as a musician? 
I think all the songs kind of made me grow in some way, but I think yeah there are a few songs that are really different from the demo. What comes to mind is “Love Divine.” It wasn’t a club track; we started really small, just a tiny groove, and now it’s like a club song. I think also the lyric stage, even. I want to keep it that way, everything’s really fluid in that sense, nothing’s set. If I change my mind about a sentence in the end of a song, then I really want to have the option to change it, and make it fit the way I want to.

In the song “Indiana,” you share about your adoption. Why did that feel like an important story to share?
I never really gave much attention to the topic. Of course, it’s always been a part of my life and I’ve always known that I was adopted; there’s no secret there. I just didn’t really feel the need to pursue any family I have over there or the story or finding out more about that. I think about two years ago, I thought maybe I should know a little bit more about my backstory and where I come from. The curiosity just kicked in, and once I felt that, I couldn’t really let that go. As I explained in the song, it’s not about wanting to be there or missing people, it is really about that curiosity I felt. The ‘what if’s’ in life. What if I never got adopted and what if I grew up there? It’s just crazy to think about it; that’s what I wanted to express in song,

Was there a song on Remedy that felt healing or touched on a theme that was difficult to talk about?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think that’s the whole reason I named the album Remedy, because there are a few songs on there that really had that healing effect on me. One in particular was ‘Old Habits,’ the closing song of the album. It kind of seems like I’m telling everybody to stop worrying, just listen to your own heart, and everything will be fine. I wrote it about a year and a half ago; I think it was one of the first songs I wrote for the album. I listened to it maybe two months ago when the final edit came through, and I thought to myself, ‘Well I kind of wrote a sort of lullaby song for myself,’ like a soothing song for myself. I’m in a pretty tough spot right now, family wise; it’s been tough, some bonds have been shifting, and I kind of told myself, ‘You know what’s true, and you know what’s right, you just have to trust it. If everybody keeps telling you, ‘You’re wrong’ or, ‘You’re doing things wrong,’ you can you can trust yourself because you’re a good person.’ Listening to ‘Old Habits’ now really still touches me because I knew back then that I needed this song for myself.

How does it feel being so open about your sexuality in your music?
It can give such an awesome feeling when you hear someone you look up to, or you someone you just adore their music, seeing something that that really resonates with you that you really can identify with. I struggled with it a little bit when I began to write music because I was in doubt if I should use the word ‘she’ sometimes in my lyrics. I thought to myself, ‘Well maybe that excludes some groups of people who want to listen to my music,’ and now I think, ‘If I heard just a few more times when I was growing up and finding out my sexuality some women singing about her and she, that would have helped me so much.’ So, I decided I should just go for it; well, at least not hide it.

Do you ever feel that your sexuality may be used as a marketing strategy?
I think it’s a fine line. To me, it just comes really natural to be honest and it kind of hurts me a little bit if people use certain aspects of themselves for as a marketing strategy. Sexuality is so personal and something so many people want to identify, and it’s such an intimate part that I really don’t think you should use that just to gain an audience or gain popularity. That sounds weird to me.

Have you always felt so comfortable being open?
It’s been different in the past: I came from The Voice of Holland and that’s a really big TV show, and TV is not really famous for being genuine. I definitely struggled with that in the beginning of my career, and I just noticed the more honest I am, the more honest music I make, the more happy I become, and my audience really appreciates it, too. So, that’s definitely been the only way for me.

What has been on your mind lately, other than music?
I think this year has brought things in perspective for me. Besides music, which plays the biggest part in my life, I really got into the spiritual side of life. Just trying to find what’s most important, and I’m trying to spread love and not just saying that, and not just trying to implement that in my music, but really feel it. I think that’s the strongest tool we have; spread love in your circle, and if everybody does that, then we can come a long way.

For more on Julia Zahra, check out her website.