Request for sindhoor and toe rings- fragments of a shared culture

Brides from Bihar wear ‘Chapa’ a resplendent red saree embellished with intricate silver block print- I came to know about this bridal wear tradition through a good friend in Karachi whose family hails from Bihar. The commitment, the allegiance to keep alive the long standing custom of draping the young brides in that special attire, does not succumb to the Indo-Pak hostility. Through variant routes and coherent arrangements made with the help of relatives, somehow Chapa reaches the bride’s family before the big day and the prized practice, worth every effort is kept up.

During a recent conversation, my friend rued about how another practice of enhancing the charm of the bride-the custom of applying sindhoor, the vermilion or orange-red powder, has almost faded away in her family due to its unavailability. She was however delighted to have passed on a small quantity once to a colleague who wished to gift sindhoor to his fiancée. Furthermore, she without beating about the bush asked me to bring it whenever I planned to visit Karachi. With a group of young girls about to reach the marriageable age, her family hopes to make perfect arrangements, in line with traditions ardently followed for years.The festivities would appear incomplete if the small fancy box reserved for sindhoor is not filled up for the young brides to adorn their hair parting.

Called Sindoora in Sanskrit, Sindhoor, is like a badge, a symbol flaunted by a married Hindu woman and it forms an intrinsic part of the long list of women’s sola singhar (sixteen steps of beautification). There are many narratives associated to Sindhoor- it represents sacredness, auspiciousness- it symbolises vitality and happiness a bride brings with her to the new house when she is married. To hear a Muslim woman express her fondness for it, with certain nonchalance regarding the often emphasized religious aspect of the practice, left me pleasantly surprised. My friend recalled light heartedly how in the eighties her older cousins fashionably used to flaunt a bindi on special occasion and often faced the ire from those opposing the practice, for emulating the Hindus women’s customs. I too remember back then it was common for brides in Pakistan to fill their middle hair parting with a golden glittery dust called Afshan. However, the fashion has lost its glitter now.

Once under the umbrella of Indian sub-continent, Muslims and Hindus celebrated a civilization where sartorial choices, items of personal adornments and wedding functions weren’t examined on the basis of their religious relevance or significance. The cultural harmony extended to other areas too like cuisine, social etiquettes and unsurprisingly, superstitions too were the same. People like my friend and I who have been raised in an atmosphere enriched by non-communal cultural traditions; it is difficult to accede to claims fanning the fire of cultural identity and conflicts. They are however, groups of people on both sides who contest inclusion of the fragments of the old shared identity in their new set up but segregation of cultural customs is as tedious (pointless too) as separating wheat from chaff.  In my opinion the common traditions, are a link, a legacy of the rich past, cherished by our forefathers and its continuation should not be confused with issues of cultural identity crisis.

Even before Bollywood movies glamourized the shaadi scenes with vibrant songs and dance routine, the widely accepted structure of a simple Muslim wedding was considered incomplete without the preliminary festivities of Mayoon and mehndi, which set the pace for the main function. However, some people prefer to eliminate these two functions because of their said incongruity with Islamic traditions and presumed links with Hindu culture. If the same declarations are to be imposed on a jewellery box which holds the enchanting charm of a shared culture then the practice of wearing chooda, the red and white bangles made of ivory or plastic, the attraction of Mangalsutra , (called Kali poth or Kala lacha too) the gold chain with black beads, the appeal of gold or silver pazaib (anklets)… will jingle and clank to know if the religion of the wearer matters enough.  

Hindus and Muslims historically lived together for decades and followed a common language and culture, unfettered by tenets of religion- the fact is undeniable and forms core of the uncountable practices followed by both, irrespective of getting into the inconclusive debate ‘who started it first? Even after they were torn apart, displaced and labelled with a new geo-political identity, it was improbable that they would abandon the age old exhaustive cultural norms and start all over again to work out a new scheme of ceremonies to celebrate weddings or come up with altered jewellery designs. Some things are better left untouched.