Bengaluru: Now, dating coaches to help save modern love

BENGALURU: Are you tired of swiping left and right on dating apps, and still not finding the right person for a committed relationship? Or do you ask for rain checks when you have finally managed to find someone?
When Bengaluru-based Radhika Mohta came across her friends’ struggle to find love in the age of digital dating, she decided to turn herself into a modern-day matchmaker.
Radhika claims to have trained over 2,000 individuals — both men and women — in the last few months through her online cohort-based course and helped them find their partners, thanks to her matchmaking skills.
“I aim to help people date better. The focus is to showcase one’s true self to a potential love interest they come across online or offline. My intent is nowhere to manipulate my client or the other individual or to portray them as somebody they are not as I believe the one-time projection doesn’t last long. Sure, one might get the right swipes, but they must know exactly who the person is once you get into a conversation, and if you are looking at the co-CEO of your life for the next four or five decades, that is not going to work,” says Radhika.
Radhika offers a four-day course that includes live video sessions, personal interaction, activities, and social mixers, and access to the discord community. “I am not setting people on one on one, but the cohort-based course has a social mixer as a part of it. I place people in the breakout rooms that I call connection rooms online with a lot of conversation prompts and they talk to each other,” says Radhika. “Rather than directing them to do things, the course aims at helping them discover the best and help them gain confidence in moving forward with the right attitude,” she adds.
Radhika, who started her career as a media professional, got involved in the match-making space in 2018.
While most of her clients are in their 20s and 30s, there are those in their 40s and 50s seeking her help to find the right partner too. “Typically, in a 40-plus bracket, people don’t want to be visible on apps due to professional reasons. For them, it’s a different set of course.”
Bengaluru-based software engineer Varun joined Radhika’s course after a stint with dating and matrimonial apps during the pandemic with no good results.
“During the course, we did exercises and reading and there was a group comprising both men and women, and so we got to understand their perspective as well. I was already talking to someone I met on an app and the course helped me with tools and resources to understand the other person and have better conversations with her. I haven’t completely stopped doubting myself, but it did help me a lot in changing my outlook,” says Varun.
Shalini Singh launched Andwemet in 2019 for people above 25 to connect people for meaningful long-term relationships. The services include online and offline events, where verified persons meet each other and find the right partner. “The reason I started this matchmaking platform is through my own experience. When my parents were looking for someone for me, I didn’t like the criteria like age, height, and income. And I disagreed with dating and matrimonial sites where looks matter more than knowing people.”
“Through Andwemet, we are relooking at relationships. Marriage should not be the only acceptable form of a committed relationship. There is a domestic partnership or living companionship which is as committed as marriage. You cannot box relationships. And if a relationship fails, it’s okay, let’s start looking at the health of the relationship rather than longevity,” says Shalini.
“When you sign-up, we ask you things like are you willing to live with parents, what’s your sex drive, what kind of relationship are you looking for — exclusive, open, discrete, etc along with your KYC, and then we approve or disapprove it. Based on one’s preferences, they find a partner themselves from among genuine ones,” she adds. The offline events include fun activities, interactions, games, and social service activities.
While there are a lot of takers for courses to enhance the dating experience that may pave the way for long-term relationships, there are people like Jeeviya Natarajan, a Bengaluru-based entrepreneur and sales consultant, who feel most the dating site\app users don’t know what exactly they are looking for.
“I have been on and off dating sites since 2019. What I feel is most of the people want to go with the flow rather than have clarity in what they seek,” says Jeeviya.
“It is not about being in a relationship. There are people I met through the apps who are my very good friends today. So, when two mature people meet today, you cannot predict what is going to happen tomorrow. All that one can do is to have good connections,” she adds.
“Training may help with etiquette. Many want the other person to take the lead all the time. Some ghost you during the middle of the conversation which gives a bad feeling of rejection. It wouldn’t hurt to drop a single line saying ‘Hey, this is not working out, sorry,” says Anita Agarwal working with a branding consultancy.