In her research on women soldiers in the military, Helen Benedict found stories of pain, stigma, discrimination, sexual violence and rape. Not from the enemy but from their own brothers who shared their food and fought alongside them.

Benedict found that women had gone through the same experiences of war as their male counterparts but were made invisible when it came to the recognition of their work. She reported that, due to this culture of misogyny, 80 per cent of those who experienced sexual violence never reported and that those who reported were 12 times more likely to be punished by the system than for an aggressor to be brought to justice.

It is the most natural thing in the world for humans to protect themselves and those they love. Since women are humans, they also want to serve, protect and contribute to society and to the world. But they have had to do so without the freedom and security accorded to privileged others.

In both private and public spheres, women have historically been ignored, demeaned, pushed back, controlled, discouraged, abused, manipulated, punished and cheated of their full rights under state and international laws. The reality is a dark one, where women go home to find safety and refuge from an unjust world, only to find further injustice.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) reports that, in 2020, a woman or girl was murdered by someone in their family every 11 minutes. UNODC executive director Ghada Waly stated: “Although eight out of 10 of all homicide victims are men or boys, women and girls are the primary victims of lethal violence at home in every part of the world, accounting for six out of 10 killings committed by intimate partners or other family members.”

My point is not to undermine the progress that has been made in trying to protect women from violence and in giving women new opportunities. But the stories of women today are still filled with hardship and resistance, drastically comparing to male counterparts who had it much easier, occupied positions much earlier and, now, at the same age, are ready for a new level of development.

At the University of Malta, for example, women are 60 per cent of the total population but while the same proportion extends to undergraduate and Master’s students, it falls below 50 per cent for women at the doctoral level of studies (UM Annual Report, 2021). In July of this year, the Global Gender Gap Index report ranked Malta 85th out of 146 countries, mainly due to a poor scoring on the political empowerment of women (0.192/1), and a comparatively low score for economic participation and opportunity (0.655).

The report indicates that Malta has done exceptionally well in providing for the health and education of women but less in providing for their career progression and much less on their leadership and influence in society. Can it be that we so love women as mothers and workers, as long as they keep out of the old boys’ privileged clubs?

While I share the grief of many, women and men, at the murder of Bernice, our sister and daughter, who was suffering abuse, I know that there are others fighting for their lives and freedom, in similar situations today.

Women have historically been ignored, demeaned, pushed back, controlled, discouraged, abused, manipulated and punished- Marcelle Bugre

The Istanbul Convention, which was ratified in Maltese law in 2014, is clear that violence against women is rooted in a context of misogyny or oppressive cultural attitudes towards women, both in the family as well as institutions and places of work.

So how are we protecting women from this violence?

We can start by listening to women and outliers, those who do not form part of the privileged group and who are the least to be heard. This tragedy clearly begs the question: if women report, are they believed? And if they are, are they given the right protection? If mechanisms of protection are not working, it is time to review, amend and monitor the protection system comprehensively, from procedures to practice.

A larger budget is clearly needed. Courts, police hubs and service providers need to improve or develop new, collaborative measures of safety, including the way victims are treated at the point of contact. It is not acceptable for victims to be dissuaded, belittled or disrespected when they seek help and the priority to protect needs to recognise the fears of mothers who are at risk of losing their children because of threats made in the form of counter-reports.

Collaboration is a must; we cannot have a system of ingroup and outgroup in protecting victims. And stakeholders with high interest in fighting domestic violence need to be engaged in the monitoring process.

The education and formation of men is critical. Misogyny is not the problem of women but men who refuse to accept the reality that women are humans and equal players in all aspects of life. Much more effort is needed to start educating men about how misogyny works, why and its impact on the health of both women, men and children in our society.

Many men are seeking a way to be part of this transformation but have difficulties in understanding their role. We need programmes that help men understand what it means to be in a privileged group and yet refuse to act out of privilege. To recognise that women are stigmatised and refuse to be part of the stigma. Our common enemy is the abuse of power and privilege and when people stop abusing their privilege we will have a better, less violent society.

Marcelle Bugre is a social worker.

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