Sex and sexuality in India has always been a topic of discussion, yet somehow there is a lot of coyness surrounding it.
We might be the country of Kamasutra, but before Kiara Advani’s masturbation scene using a vibrator in Lust Stories or Swara Bhaskar’s in Veere Di Wedding, we can honestly say that sex toys, dildos and other items were talked only in gender-specific WhatsApp groups or over brunches and kitty parties.
In the early 2000, advertisements of condoms or any mentions of sex toys were accompanied by rounds of laughter and judgemental stares. Dildos and vibrators were looked upon as jokes or a point of ridicule. However, with social media advent a lot of health discussions take place where a dildo or a vibrator or even a flesh-light is not a meme material. An anonymous user told us that she gifted her husband a flesh-light for his layover flights as she didn’t want him to be deprived of sexual fun even if she is not present with him. A lot of couples are gifting each other sexual toys, wedding gifts by close friends also address this ‘orgasm gap’.
There is considerably, a huge ‘orgasm gap’ when it comes to sexual habits of Indian women. According to a 2020 survey published by Durex India, close to 70 per cent women claim that they have not experienced an orgasm after every sexual intercourse.
Even today the social media companies would rather promote condoms and contraceptives when it is focused on abstinence-led sex education as opposed to sexual pleasure. Brands like Manzuri and Ms. Chief are using discreet packaging to sell their products. They strongly confirm that there is indeed an orgasm gap in the mindsets of the people that needs to be addressed.
Psychologist and couple counsellor, Snehal Singh addresses this issue objectively. “I believe that orgasm gap is a cultural problem because experiencing pleasure is hardly a priority in the conditioning of women. General notion in society is that the moment we say sex most of the people will assume intercourse (penetrative sex),” she says. “Partners can be creative in their own ways and that it can only possible with the open communication along with the consideration of pleasure. With open communication and consent, introducing sex toys can also be a good idea to help the woman achieve her orgasm.”
A lot of social media users’ focus is directed towards awareness campaigns on reclaiming sexuality and sexual practices, the conversations that were hushed up have now moved to the drawing rooms. People aren’t shy talking about their sexual urges or using sex toys with their partners. While Indians may just be coming around to the fact that they no longer need a partner to satisfy their sexual urges or to use a sex toy to spice up intimate moments, the figures of the global sex-toy industry are mind-boggling. It is not only a thriving industry but also a growing one.
According to GrandViewResearch.com, the global sex toys market size was valued at USD 32.7 billion in 2022. It is expected to expand at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 8.50% from 2023 to 2030.
During the Covid-19 pandemic, the sex toy industry saw an upward surge only to grow more. Social distancing and people spending months away from their loved ones or quarantining meant people exploring their sexual fantasies.
India, has always been a place where sensibilities and sentiments about people have to be taken into consideration before either indulging in sexual wellness products or even selling them. A major part of the sex toys discourse in public is still shrouded in secrecy and taboo. But, there has always been a demand for anything that is concerned with sexuality.
Shakun Sethi, founder and CEO of TickleLife, has been working on developing a fintech product that onboards businesses such as the sexual toys industry which has been labelled as a ‘high risk business’. She breaks down the business side of the sexual wellness industry for us.
“There is a huge demand for sex toys, but the problem is also with the supply as there are not many people creating the relevant products or resources. It is still struggling to reach the target audience. There is a huge discoverability issue be it due to advertising or social media guidelines. It becomes difficult for people to sell such products and for people to buy them. We cannot sell sex products the way we sell conventional products as we fear accounts to get suspended or being shadow-banned,” she adds.
However, is selling sex-toys illegal? With streets of Churchgate, Mumbai, filled with vendors selling ‘relaxing massage gel’ to ‘neck massagers’, people always raise questions about the legalities involved in selling sex toys. Why are online sellers facing issues when it comes selling these wares? The problem comes in creating the right of advertisements and social media campaigns that may pass the scrutiny of social media apps and the moral policing.
Advocate Adnan Shaikh says, “In our country, there are no laws or guidelines to completely regulate the sale of items that provide sexual stimulation. However, we have laws that talk about obscenity and vulgarity since ours is majorly a modest society. Hence, Section 292 of the Indian Penal Code 1860 can be invoked to restrict the sale, exhibition, advertising, import or export of sex toys on the ground of obscenity if there are semi-nude or nude photos openly displayed on their packaging.
For example, if anyone advertises such items with an image depicting a sexual act that person or company can be arrested. There have been some cases where certain women have filed section 66E of the Information Technology Act 2000 for such images along with their own complaints. This was for spam advertisements of sex toys. The question remains, how else do we sell sex toys if not these ads?
Shakun Sethi adds, “This is the reason why we have to resort to surrogate marketing. We all know it is not a neck-massager, but to escape the legal route, we need to mask it in such a way that the meaning is not lost, yet there is a certain tongue—in-cheek message attached to it.”
Sex toys, however, remain popular. A lot of women have rediscovered sexual pleasure and can attest to the fact that sex indeed became more pleasurable when they added sex toys to it. The spokesperson of Ms Chief a leading sex toys brand shares with us how Crescendo, their ‘Rabbit Vibrator’ is one of their most sold out products. Their hybrid toys that focus on both external and internal stimulation are also most sought after. They believe that women need to be empowered to make their choices when it comes to sexuality.
Aastha Vohra of Manzuri runs an Instagram Page called ‘Get Cliterate’, which focuses on sexuality education and promoting sex positivity amongst the youth. Aastha acknowledges how content creators and influencers are pushing the envelope when it comes to talking about sex or sexual desires and bursting myths on masturbation and orgasms.
Interestingly, even Manzuri’s most sold out and loved product is the ‘Rabbit Vibrator’. For the uninitiated the vibrator known as ‘Rabbit’ became popular when Sex And The City spoke about it two decades ago. In episode 9 of season 1, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon’ introduces Charlotte (Kristin Davis) to a vibrator to make her experience orgasms and sexual pleasure without having a man in her life. The outcome is hilarious as Charlotte becomes a recluse and gets addicted to her vibrator as it continues to give her orgasms.
For Indian women who generally have had to rely on the advice of mothers and sisters about sex, are discovering platforms such as ‘Get Cliterate’ inspiring and even enlightening. Making a partner accountable for achieving orgasms has never been discussed so openly in India. With lots of pop-cultural references, the landscape in India on sexual pleasure is changing. People are shedding their inhibitions and prudish beliefs.
If the 70s was known as the ‘sexual awakening era’, the 2020s can definitely be called the ‘orgasm awakening era’.
