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One might have thought that with all the gay sex scenes we’re now seeing in movies and web shows, makers would’ve finally learned how to depict them right. But as they say, truth is stranger than fiction. Or rather, real life is a lot more complicated than the reel one.
While we’ve come a long way, fortunately, from the time when even playing a gay role on screen was considered career harakiri for any actor, there’s still a lot of nuance that’s missing from our movies and shows. Gay sex, in particular, is mostly presented in a manner that appears more clinical and tempestuous rather than authentic and raw. Characters have sex in a manner that’s rarely authentic — a lot of it is nothing like how it happens in real life.
Here are 5 things about gay sex that movies never talk about:
How do the characters in most movies and shows already know the preferences of the other person? Who will be topping and who’ll be at the bottom isn’t a discussion that’s ever heard. Most of the time, it’s presumed based on the appearance of the character, which is a rather problematic depiction anyway. Just because someone appears to be more effeminate than the other, doesn’t always make them the bottom one by default.
As anyone who has ever had anal sex will tell you, lubrication is a key part of all the action. But all that movies and shows have to offer in this regard is some last-minute spit lube usage, which is far removed from the realities of gay sex. For the record, anal penetration needs more than a handful of artificial lubrication, and then some more.
Sure, apps such as Grindr have made it more convenient to get some action. But just like any other dating app, and much like the experiences of heterosexual men and women on these apps, getting to meet someone for a date or a hookup isn’t that easy. Despite what these movies might suggest, perfectly suitable candidates aren’t always available at your nearest location that easily.
The first time with any new person is rarely smooth (pun not intended!). You don’t know the other person and their body. Nor do you know what works for them, and in turn, works for you. Gay sex, in particular, tends to get more awkward than awesome the first time two people are together. But movies and TV shows have rarely, if ever, ventured into these layers of complexities.
To be fair, even heterosexuals on screen have rarely promoted condom usage. But when showing gay sex, condoms almost never get talked about and/or used even when it's such a necessary thing, often a make-or-break one. Needless to say, condoms are must to prevent the transmission of STIs.
