Ange Postecoglou channelled his inner Billy Joel to answer critics of Tottenham’s set piece frailty - and declared he is an innocent man.
As Spurs put their dwindling hopes of Champions League football next season on the line at Stamford Bridge, Big Ange raided the Piano Man’s back catalogue in a vivid defence of their progress this season.
Tottenham have conceded 14 goals from set pieces this season, including six in the last nine games from corners - the fifth worst record in the Premier League - with Arsenal the latest to enjoy rich pickings in last Sunday’s north London derby.
Is Postecoglou losing sleep over it? “Not in the least,” he growled. “I get it. Look, it’s not an answer people want to hear and to quote Billy Joel: You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.
“This is not the first time I’ve been questioned about set-pieces in my coaching career, but I’m just not interested in it. Never have been.” Postecoglou has other issues on his mind ahead of a fixture with a history of more spice than a curry house menu.
Last season, Thomas Tuchel and Antonio Conte’s post-match handshake morphed into an outbreak of Queensberry Rules, while the infamous 2016 Battle of the Bridge - where nine Spurs players were booked alone - earned the clubs £600,000 in fines between them.
And after their last meeting in November, Postecoglou’s side finished with nine men, two long-term injuries to key players James Madison and Micky van de Ven and they were applauded off despite losing 4-1 in a melting pot of five disallowed goals and VAR chaos.
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That was effectively the night when the wheels came off Spurs’ title challenge, and they have had to watch the Gunners sail 20 points beyond them at the top.
Tottenham fans were unimpressed with Arsenal defender Ben White ’s dark arts - trying to unstrap one of goalkeeper Guglielmo Vicario’s gloves at a corner - but fair dinkum Big Ange refused to get involved in a slanging match.
He said: “It’s a strategy, but I don’t take a lot of interest in that stuff, never have. I’m not casting judgement, but I just don’t really care. If people think that’s going to give them an advantage or whatever, I just don’t worry about that stuff.
“Who cares? I know it’s great theatre, but whether he’s trying to undo his glove, tickle his armpit or whatever. I don’t care. I try to get my players not to worry about that stuff. It’s not important. And if you want to go down that avenue, what’s he supposed to do - turn around, throw a punch and knock him out?
"Or say, ’Please don’t touch me’? What does that do? Seriously, we’re not in the school yard. If I saw one of my players do it I’d be saying, ‘Mate, seriously? Get the ball and play some football’.”
Postecoglou is mindful of the minefield awaiting Spurs in SW6 where, in the Premier League era, they have lost 24 and won only once on their last 37 trips down the Fulham Broadway.
As a veteran of Old Firm derbies in Glasgow, Big Ange knows how to tread the line between passion and misadventure, and he said: “I’ve always tried to create a mindset where you shouldn’t feel more passionate about one fixture than another.
“I know what it means to the club and the supporters, absolutely, but if I felt the players were showing more passion for one particular fixture, I’d be questioning what I do on a daily basis.”
Postecoglou will be without Timo Werner (hamstring), Ben Davies (calf) and Destiny Udogie (thigh), who have all been ruled out for the rest of the season. As a critic of VAR, he was also asked about the Swedish FA’s decision to reject the intrusive blight. “I’m moving there,” grinned the genial Aussie. Movin’ out? There goes Billy Joel again…
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